Dear Boss Lady,
This blog post is probably just about as effective as communicating with you face to face. When I woke up at 5:00 this afternoon, I got your message begging me to come to work at 7:00 tonight. You said that I was your last straw, that you had no one to work, that you couldn't even get an agency nurse to come. I wondered if that meant I would be staffing the whole hospital if I agreed to come.
I returned your call but you were out of your office. I spoke to Krankschwester, who had absolutely no idea that there was a staffing crisis. I guess you didn't tell the nurses that there was no one to replace them and they would probably have to work 36 hours. Upon checking the schedule, Krankschwester assured me that there were the right amount of names on it. Someone with your first name was on there; she didn't know whether or not it was you though. I told her to call me if no one shows up.
For future reference, here is some advice on getting me to work extra shifts. I know you don't like paying those agency nurses $75 an hour. Maybe we could work something out. It's easy to understand that I'm a cheap date at $26. It should be easy to understand why I won't work extra for $26 either. Offer me $50 and you'll make us both happy. I know you don't have the authority to do that, but until you get some authority, I guess you'll be working a lot of shifts. You're salaried, aren't you? Oh well.
I guess we'll talk about this later.
P.S. Although you sort of conned me into working, thanks for the time and a half. I guess you have to start somewhere.