Just Cause and Rope- movie review

Just Cause

Rope

Somehow the movies that arrived yesterday for j. and I respectively both had to do with murder. We're not big fans of whodunits and only watch the occasional thriller, so this seemed like a strange coincidence.

Rope is a Hitchcock film, something to ponder on rather than excite. The thesis is that morality only holds true for the masses and the upper crust, the inteligentsia, may do as they like up to and including murder. Jimmy Stewart is true to form. When confronted with the practical reality of his idealogy, he admits his error.

Just Cause had me cutting off the blood flow to j.'s hand and even covering my eyes at one point. I think Ed Harris deserved an Oscar for being creepy to the max. It included a plot twist that separated it from the ordinary. In addition, the Everglades are downright creepy.

Two questions arise.

Number one: who decides who has value in society? Is it the intelligent? That's mostly a matter of breeding. The social elite? A combination of birth and fakery. The educated? The employed? The nice guy? If we were going to start pruning the undesirables from the world, who would decide who goes first?

Number two: should we use the death penalty? It comes down to a question of who gets to decide again. We've decided to trust a jury of ordinary people to decide guilt or innocence. We already know that innocent people get convicted and guilty ones go free every day. I'm not ready to trust justice to the caprice of fate, but is it right to take a life for a life? How about a life for two lives, or three or four? Who decides?

R.C.

Random meme- copied from ScienceWoman

Explain what ended your last relationship. Combination of circumstance, non-inertia, and another man.

When was the last time you shaved? Partial yesterday; complete can't rembember.

What were you doing this morning at 8AM? Snoozing.

What were you doing 15 minutes ago? Writing a novel.

Are you any good at math? I can add, subtract, multiply and divide and do simple algebra.

Your prom night, what do you remember about it? My Christian school didn't have prom, but we had a banquet. I went 'stag'-with other girls. The rest is a blank.

Do you have any famous ancestors? No one you would know. Some chief justices in England a Revolutionary War colonel are the most prestigious.

Have you had to take a loan out for school? Twice.

Do you know the words to the song on your MySpace profile? Don't have one.

Last thing received in the mail? Netflix

How many different beverages have you had today? enough water to swallow pills and hot tea.

Do you ever leave messages on people's answering machine? Yes, awkward ones.

Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to? Um, Pam Tillis, free tickets.

Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach? No.

What's the most painful dental procedure you've had? Toss up between drilling and cleaning.

What is out your back door? At the moment, probably a possum eating fallen apples.

Any plans for Friday night? work

Do you like what the ocean does to your hair? No.

Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns? Yes, from Baptist Nun for Christmas

Have you ever been to a planetarium? Yes.

Do you re-use towels after you shower? Yes. j. uses two new ones every time though.

Some things you are excited about? Trip to Portland this week. Nothing to do.

What is your favorite flavor of JELL-O? Green.

Describe your keychain(s)? Robin's egg blue leather Nine West matches my purse.

Where do you keep your change? My wallet. I like to use exact change.

When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people? The last time I remember is a high school program where I told a Brer Rabbit story.

What kind of winter coat do you own? I don't really need one here.

What was the weather like on your graduation day? High school- it rained and I lost my favorite raincoat. College- sunny both times.

Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed? Ajar.

NaNoWriMo

National Novel Writing Month is underway, and in a move that feels foolish even to myself, I am undertaking to write a 50,000 word work of fiction between November 1 and November 30. With my pre-organized thoughts in mind, I began today. I have a start with 2,900 words, thoughts that are beginning to flow more smoothly, and characters that are gaining shape in my mind. I am widely known for my inability to complete large tasks, so we'll see where this gets me. One way or another, my protagonist is helping me sort out conflicts that I need to think about.

R.C.

Fingers to the Bone

Ki'il and I worked hard getting the old place cleaned up today. All that's left is the refrigerator and the steam cleaning. I am certain that it's cleaner than when we moved in. It was as pleasant as cleaning day could be, with such good company.

My mind was wandering idly on the subject of houses and spouses. We loved our first house, we quicly grew weary of the second one, what will be the future of the third? It seems some people go through spouses this way. I hope we don't get sick of each other for a good long time (never).

Rose

Roughing It- dream journal

I was staying at some sort of camp or school. I went for a walk in the woods. I lost my shoes, then I caught a ride on a passing elk. The elk seemed to know where I wanted to go. When we passed my shoes lying on trail, he stopped to let me off, and I walked the rest of the way.

Sronnoc Esor

Saturday dream journal

I was studying with a guy named Adam who I’ve never seen before. He lived on about the fifth story of a big apartment house with no elevator. He started coming on to me and I told him, “Gee, this feels really nice, but I’m not sure I want to cheat on my husband.” Then I decided to do it after all. Afterwards I was looking for workout clothes to go to the gym, but then I realized that I had to go see Dahlia Man. When I got down the steps, I realized that I had forgotten my keys and had to go back up for them. By the time I got to the parking lot, I was already ten minutes late and I couldn’t find my car. I finally found it, but something was wrong and I caught a ride with some people. When we were almost there, they decided to stop in the park to look for a friend. I got out to walk. There was a simulated ocean there and some kind of meet and greet going on. I dodged the people and made my way down the street. Instead of going to Dahlia Man’s house, I found myself at a bar where I was supposed to meet Adam. Some girl was outside. She said she couldn’t let me in and that the meeting had been rescheduled. Then I had to try to run home so I wouldn’t be late for work.

Sronnoc Esor

the Grebes are here and so am I

We slept in the new house for the first time last night. The mattress didn't make it until today, so we camped out on the quilt on the floor. The kitties went ballistic and hid, then started expoloring and calmed down. Today when the movers brought the piano and the mattress, they went ballistic and hid again. Shadow is in the box springs and Ailleanach is behind the washing machine. j. is in bed with a cold and I'm keeping him doped up. We still have a few things to move from the old place, but we're out of there. For the moment, I am pirating a wi-fi connection from god knows where. In order to do that, I am forced to walk a block and sit by the water with the wooden docks creaking, the gulls mewing, and the pink sunset fading in the west.

Life could be worse. Much, much worse.

Rose

Western Grebes, returned from their summer breeding grounds, are fishing for their dinners.

Acts of Rebellion- dream journal

I was in some kind of school. The assignments were time-consuming and ridiculous so I didn't do them. I was confronted about it by my teacher, Miss Yost, who I never got along with IRL. I told her that her assignments were ridiculous and I wasn't doing them. As I was leaving I stumbled and fell in a mud puddle. After that, the teachers ignored me as if I had never been there. My brother Mr. Clean came looking for me and asked me to come back, but I said no. I went and sat on the train tracks. Once two trains were passing in opposite directions on different tracks and I had to crouch down to avoid being hit. Then I walked up the track a little ways and came to a convent where they had all kinds of religious sculpture. Mother was there trying to find something for Robin.

Sronnoc Esor

the Coming of the Pain

Finally that cycle is over. Hopefully my "cycle buddy" gets hers too. We were planning big moving today. Maybe if I can get on top of this pain, I will still be able to participate. My inclination at the moment is to do some self education about fertility testing and treatment and begin some testing in six months to a year. After all, I have just gotten the thyroid corrected. That sort of started us back at square one in the ttc game. I definitely want to go into this knowing what my options are and which ones I will consider. Doctors are always wanting to cut, and I'm ready to say no to that one. Well, food for thought. My heating pad is starting to work; I think a snooze is coming on.

Rose

Tragedy- Nightmare Journal

Robin and I were both in college. We went to a class together where the professor had the TA give the first lecture. He fumbled things terribly because he was so nervous, but was okay in between. Then we decided to go to lunch. When we got to the cafeteria, we didn't have our student IDs to get in, so we went back to our dorms to get them. There was a big line in front of the dorms and suddenly Mother and Father were with us, holding us up. I went around the back way to my room, cutting through a vacant building. When I got back, Mother told me that Robin had died. She said she had an abortion (a thing Robin would never do) and that she had gotten sick afterwards, lost a lot of weight, and been unable to recover. Mother said it was God's punishment. I yelled back at Mother that that wasn't true. Was she going to carry on like this every time she remembered Robin? Was she going to taint her memory this way. My grief was uncontrollable and I broke out in sobs for my little sister. We had to hire a lawyer for some reason. He was helping us pack up Robin's things in her dorm room. I told him most of her clothes would fit me if I lost a little weight. He tried to tell us that Robin had been standing in line to get some kind of activist petition signed when she collapsed in the line. None of it made sense. This couldn't have happened when I had just seen her, perfectly healthy, and we were going to eat lunch together.

(She's on the phone now, perfectly fine of course.)

Peace and Hope rose

Seemed appropriate.

RC

Laughs with Friends (and Angst)

I'm too old to be doing this just now for the first time, but I am still in the middle of a major parents, religion, status quo rebellion meltdown. The recent visit from Mother and Father has left me ranging from contemplative to resentful to soul-searching to downright angry. Dahlia Man and Tazmom both listened understandingly to my confused ramblings about why this is such an emotionally powerful crisis situation for me. j. is the picture of kindness and sympathy. The hormonal fever that my body is going through can't help at all.

Yet I am happy and contented and fulfilled.

Ki'il and the Scholar stopped by for a pleasant if short visit. They joined us in poking fun at the crooked shack that we are soon leaving. Ki'il has agreed to help me with the terminal cleaning here. We look forward to spending a lot more time with them. We always have such pleasant and interesting conversations and they are able to laugh at the world in much the same way that j. and I do.

A midnight trip to Wal-Mart yielded needed things for the house and a new sports bra which is helping to soothe my aching chest. Upon our arrival home, we packed up a large contribution for the garbage man.

Now I'm going to relax and enjoy some one-on-one with my Best Man. I missed him over the weekend.

Rose

cycle stats

Sunday
cycle day 44
ovulation was cycle day 27-29
usual LP 12-15 days
recorded LP range 5-20 days
longest recorded cycle 41 days
new onset breast pain day 43
ultra high stress this cycle with parents visiting and impending move

rc

Dead at the Scene- dream journal

Another night of driving around, seemingly pointlessly. We stopped for a car accident. A female doctor and I were first on the scene. Although the injured elderly man was still breathing and pulsatile, lady doctor jumped on him and started CPR immediately in the passionate making out kind of way they do on television. I stood by feebly protesting. The man died anyway and lady doctor was out of there.

I passed a street fair selling beautiful raisin breads and old gadgets like stovetop espresso makers.

j. and I went to a community dinner where we had trouble finding our assigned table. On the way there, we passed the home of a patient of mine and poked around the back yard.

Sronnoc Esor

Beautiful Girls- movie review

link

The title might help prepare you for some of the callow objectification of women used by the mostly male main characters in this film. Does a one to ten rating system for face, body, and personality sum up a woman? Are supermodels really the "promise of a new tomorrow"?On the other hand, Gina has a brilliant soliloquy (delivered as advice to the Tommy), in which she reminds him in a wondrously colorful and expressive way that beauty is only skin deep. So maybe what we really have here is a commentary on lots of different ways to think about beautiful girls.

Most of the female characters in the film showed an acceptable amount of backbone. In spite of the rating system, I give the film good marks for representing a cross section of thought and behavior in its characters.

It was also very funny. Overall, an enjoyable flick.

Rose

Safari- dream journal

We were all packed up to go on a long trip. We even had portable toilets. We were leaving from Father's, where he had an outhouse with a 'possum in it- vile creature. Everyone was sleeping on the ground in sleeping bags. I was afraid to get up in the night to go to the outhouse.

Sronnoc Esor

Afternoon Snooze

Taking a nap with their Daddy.

The lovely Ailleanach squinting at the imposition of the camera flash.



Nothing bothers my little Shadowy-head.

Rose

Angels in the Gloom- book review

Angels in the Gloom by Anne Perry

This was one of the authors for book club for October.

It is a historical novel that takes place mostly in England during World War I. There are a few underdeveloped characters in the novel. It seems to me that the pages devoted to Richard Mason and Judith Reavley are of little consequence to the story as a whole. I most note, though, that the book is part of a series, so it seems likely that the characters are dealt with more completely in other books.

The Joseph Reavley character, however, is well developed and his quest is pretty well developed. Again, the search for the Peacemaker is reasonably expected to be an ongoing one. Stories of intrigue and suspense are not my favorites, so the best part of this book in my opinion was the psychological struggle. After all, isn't that the most applicable part of any story. Joseph struggles to follow morality and truth, as best he knows them. Some of the time he is misguided by preconceptions, but in the end he comes to the truth.

When asked if God has abandoned the world, Joseph has the following notable answer:

"I don't know. There are times when I look at what's happening, young men crushed and dying, the land poisoned and turned to filth, corruption of what I used to trust utterly, and I'm not sure. But the things that Christ taught are still true, of that I'm absolutely certain. Meet me at the end of the world when we stand at the abyss, I'll tell Satan to his face just as certainly: Honor is still worth living or dying for; no matter how tired or hurt or frightened you are, face forward and seek the light, even if it's gone out and you can't remember where it was, keep going. It's always right to care. It's going to hurt like hell at times, you'll think it's beyond bearing, but if you let go of that then you have lost the purpose of existing at all."

There is much idealism in that answer, but also much truth.

Rose

Can't Fix the Roof when it's Raining

On Christmas Day a huge hunk of plaster fell out of the garage roof. The landlord told us he'd fix it when it quit raining. When it rains, a puddle forms on the floor and more little bits of plaster fall down. Yesterday, the landlord showed the house to potential tenants. This morning at 0900 a contractor showed up to take a look at the roof.

This is one of those cases where if you don't laugh, you'll cry.

tchotchke- word of the day

tchotchke \CHOCH-kuh\, noun:A trinket; a knickknack.

The rare tchotchke aside, our antiquing journeys mainly
amounted to wishful foraging, in the spirit of a more roomy and prosperous
someday we somehow never really articulated.-- Jacquelyn Mitchard, The
Most Wanted

Of course, you also have arcades, like Funland, and your
typical tchotchke vendors, like Ryan's Gems and Junk.-- Jamie
Peck, "Rehoboth Beach", Newsday, May 18,
2001

I'm going nuts with my mother's accumulation of tchotchkes -- it's bad enough she never parted with one she got
as a gift -- but why did she have to buy more?-- "Artifacts of Life", Newsday, December 9, 1996

Tchotchke is from Yiddish tshatshke, "trinket," ultimately of Slavic origin. It is also spelled tsatske.

Inspiration from Dr. Chickenfarmer

The visiting ER doc I worked with last night set the wheels in the void above my neck spinning. He told me that he just diagnosed one of his patients with a newly discovered enzyme that prevents implantation, thus causing repeat early miscarriages, often before a pregnancy can be confirmed. The treatment is anticoagulation: aspirin or heparin. I've said forever that I don't want fertility testing and treatments. I was thinking of IUI, IVF, hormone shots, and all that goes with it. What if a simple baby aspirin a day would give us a baby? I need to learn more about this. It could be new hope for us when mine has been severely wilted. The name of the problem is lupus anticoagulant. Should I be looking for an RE?

Rose

Passing

One of our dear old gentleman left this world last night. We all thought he would go home soon. He was so cold all evening and kept asking for blankets. Then he just stopped breathing and I closed his eyes. He was in his nineties. We should all go so peacefully.

Rose

Now I know I'm crazy

I had a meeting at the hospital at eight this morning, so I was up early. I spent the day updateing addresses. Then I went to get supper for Dahlia Man. The only trouble is- I wasn't supposed to go until tomorrow. Anyhow here I am, finishing the movie and waiting to go to my real job. Today started out cold, cloudy and windy. I wore a sweater and my jacket to walk to the hospital. Of course, I'm sure the real craziness comes from the mild PMS from which I've been suffering. The progesterone cream helps some, though. Wait and see what tomorrow brings.

Rose

Memoirs of a Geisha- movie review

link

I thought I heard poor reviews of this movie, but we liked it. It's a little over two hours, I know that's long for some people, but it kept my attention. I don't really know anything about geishas, but the portrayal is stark and far different in many ways from the image we have of beautiful, talented, alluring women. Here are some major images that were altered in my mind.

Misconception #1- a career choice

Geishas were sold into slavery by their own families. If the geisha house didn't want them, they became prostitutes. If the geisha house decided they weren't good enough, they became servants.

Misconception #2- virgins

A maiko could not become a full geisha until she sold her virginity to the highest bidder. After that, she wasn't supposed to have sex again.

If the story is true, then it is full of all the ugliness that women can be to each other. Lies and backstabbing and setting each other up in a cruel competitive dance that could sometimes mean surviving or not for the geisha house. Sadly, is a dance that is put on for men. Yet this dynamic goes on every day in the school, the workplace, the home, and the public for many American women.

Although we have the freedom in this country to choose a life and a career, what are the factors that enslave American women? We are constantly reminded by ScienceWoman how hard it is for a woman to pursue a professional career in science, and of the fierce competition and bias toward men in the field. Although, I was lucky not to experience this, many women in the Christian circles that I grew up in are taught that their only acceptable role is wife and mother. That said, I believe Father censures Robin for her choice to go back to nursing school with a husband and child to care for. If you look at the media at all, you'll receive only a few images of powerful women. Most of the images there are the American version of geisha: how to make yourself up and play the patriarchal game in which women are pawns.

What about sex? We've got a corner on the virgin/whore dichotomy. It's popular wisdom that if a girl doesn't "put out" by the third date, a man will move on to someone else. So does that mean a girl has to have sex on the third date if she doesn't want to lose the guy? And of course she's supposed to sleep with her date to the high school prom. All the while, she should maintain the snowy white purity that will allow her to wear white on her wedding day.

On the other hand, consider the chastity movement. Girls (and presumably boys) are wearing bracelets inscribed with TLW (True Love Waits) to remind them to save it for the wedding night. This is considered "safe sex". Can't get any diseases if you don't "do it", right? No further sex ed necessary. Sorry, abstinence crowd, it doesn't work. What it does accomplish is, when she finally decides to do it in a moment of passion, she doesn't know what a condom is, much less to ask for one. Or maybe she'll just fool around. Oral sex isn't sex, right? Wrong.

Well, everyone knew we have this problem in America and it didn't have much to do with the movie. But that's what I'm alll about, saying what I think while I'm thinking it.

Rose

Applesauce

Yesterday I made applesauce with apples picked from Dahlia Man's trees and drops off the ground. The green apples are called Kings; I don't know the names of the others. I used a large bucket of Kings and a medium bucket of the red ones, which are sweeter. Below are various stages of preparation. The drops are wormy and bruised.



Here is the applesauce in progress. When it is liquedfied, I add brown sugar and cinnamon. I ended up with about eight quarts. j. ate some and I froze the remainder using our Foodsaver bag and seal system.


I wish you could smell it.

Rose

Air Soccer- dream journal

I went for a walk at night. A fancy helicopter was landing in the park with refugees. I went home and told j. about it. Just then we saw it circling overhead. It came in to hover over the athletic field. It lowered nets that men were hanging from. They were playing some version of soccer while suspended in midair. It changed into a motivational conference with standing room only. While j. was talking to someone, some girls came and took his seat. I got upset and left. I wasn't dressed. I had only a blanket wrapped around me. I must have come back because I whispered something to j. and the speaker got really upset with me. Then I left for good.

After that I was with Mother and Father visiting a summer camp where I used to work. Everyone was talking about a man who was pregnant. Then his wife suddenly dropped over dead. We went for a walk and came to a deserted housing community with a broken down aviary full of really scraggly looking birds.

Fun and Friends

Dinner with Ki'il and her husband The Scholar last night was fantastic. Ki'il poured margaritas when we got there. Then she served up a delicious Korean feast of lettuce wraps with marinated beef sauteed with mushrooms, garlic and onions and a whole grain and rice mixture. You get a piece of lettuce, pile it with the other components and roll it up. It's supposed to be a mouthful. There was a fermented soy sauce and fermented soybeans, which are rich in probiotics. Then she brought out the dark green seaweed. You make wraps with that too. My mouth was still bursting with the memory of flavor hours later when we got home.

I guess I was the big drinker in the bunch. I drank both my margarita and jc's. Then when the Scholar's parents got home, I had a glass of Merlot. Some of you will appreciate the humor in little old me who used to be a teetotaler drinking more than anyone else.

The Scholar is in nursing school, so we had some conversations about that. He is in the phase where they throw theory at you without explaining the practical purpose of it. Hopefully, I helped rather than muddying the waters more with my rambling. We could've stayed all night chit-chatting, but people have school and work, and so we scurried home about midnight. We hope to do it again soon. Only I'll be embarrassed by my simple food after the feast we got served up.

Rose

busy weekend

I started a new sideline this weekend helping Dahlia Man while his caretaker is away. This kept me busy as I helped him with his dinner before going to work on Saturday, and then helped him with his breakfast after work. I had to wake up even ealier on Saturday to go sign the lease for our new place. That means this week we can start moving stuff in. I also got apples from Dahlia Man's trees for apple sauce. That will keep me busy tomorrow. Tonight we are invited to a friend's for dinner. I will take her some dahlias. I am looking forward to meeting her husband, who is a yogi. Exciting updates should be coming along soon.

Rose

commune- dream journal

I was living at a commune. Brownie was there. Mother and Father came to visit. They wanted to buy food from the commune for lunch, but were very awkward in going about it. Everyone there was cooking different meals and the kitchen was a mess.

Then there were some kind of war games with toy soldiers. I was taking it pretty seriously and my best friend from high school got pretty upset with me. Something underlying made the situation very tense.

Sronnoc Esor

on the creek- dream journal

I was awakened by repeated kicks in the shins. j. told me he had been dreaming that a general made him go into the army and practice saluting and things for two weeks. He was trying to escape.

I went back to sleep.

I was trying to float down the creek at The Farm at flood stage. When I got about where the cable car used to be, there were fisherman in motorized craft. I returned to dry land to avoid them.

After that I was at BJU. I was wearing pants with a skirt over them. On my way to breakfast, I ran into Mary. She had her two year old little girl with her. There was a long wait at the cafeteria. Then I sat with Leigh and her friends. They ignored me completely. I wanted a salad, but the salad bar lady told me she had just put it out and it wasn't ready to eat yet.

Sronnoc Esor

Running ragged?

After four hours of sleep last night, I got up to meet someone about a little homecare gig which I will be doing. It took two tries to get in a nice talk with Robin, who seems to be doing well, although busy. I took a little nap, then went to hike around in the wilderness behind Wheat Grass Lady's new house. I'll go back and take some pics for you later.

After yoga class we had grilled cheese sandwiches on the new cast iron grill pan and watched "Like Water for Chocolate". Out of laziness, I will comment on it here. The English voiceovers were terrible, so we watched it in Spanish with English subtitles. It was much better that way. I disagree with the basic premise of the movie, which to me seemed to be that sexual passion is the ruling force in the world. I believe that love can conquer all, but that's different. Of course the movie is fanciful, so we must allow leeway. Literal fires start from sexual longing and fulfillment and in the end, a woman eats matches and burns down a whole rancho. I don't doubt that I may have missed the point. If someone else got it and wants to correct me, I'm all ears.

R. C.

Plastic surgery risk or Intrinsic tendency?

This study of Canadian women who had breast implants and other cosmetic surgery found a significantly greater suicide rate in the study group than in the general population (about 73% higher). This begs the question: Would these women have taken their own lives if they hadn't had the surgery? Is there a connection between plastic surgery and depression? Is there a higher suicide risk among people who have other kinds of surgery?

First of all, I have to ask myself why people want to have body-changing surgery. I have never harbored even the remotest desire to do such a thing. Of course, as a nurse, I know that the last thing you should ever do is let a surgeon cut you. But that's beside the point. Aside from body changes that I can affect myself through exercise and proper diet, I'm happy with the way I look. I'm not perfect, but I'm me.

What gives someone such poor self esteem that they risk their lives to change their bodies? Is it the way they've been treated by others? Unimaginable things happen in families. I know a woman whose father called her "flats" because she had very small breasts. Parents tell their children they are ugly and fat and stupid and bad. Based on this sort of treatment in the develomental years, how could a person come out with positive self-image?

Then we have popular culture. Big breasts are beautiful. Men will desire you. Wide noses are ugly. You might be mistaken for someone of another race, other than white that is. Aging is terrible. Wrinkles and crow's feet and gray hair are all signs of inferiority. Forget the wisdom that comes with years of experience. Do we have plastic surgery only because our society is so ageist, sexist, and racist? Who decides what beauty is? Advertisers? Hollywood?

I submit that beauty comes from within.

Love yourself.

Rose

We're moving

This will be our new home. No, not a boat, a house about two blocks from the harbor. The rent is similar and the house is much nicer than where we are. We've sort of wanted to try out living here for a while. We even entertained the idea of a houseboat for a while, but it didn't seem like a good idea with a piano, let alone children. So now we have our big chance. For the moment, that's a big chance to pack up all our earthly belongings again. I'm making the most of the excited energy I have now to get some of that done right away.

I'll keep you posted.

Rose

snake in the bed- dream journal

I was taking care of a patient who complained that there was a snake in the bed. I didn't believe her and took the covers of to show her that it wasn't there. She said it was under the pillows, but she didn't want me to move the pillows. "If it's under there, it can stay. I don't want to move." I picked up the pillows anyway and sure enough, there was a snake there. I "eeked" out loud. (j. asked me what was wrong.)

I went out to eat with Mother and Father. The menu looked much like a hospital menu: a piece of paper with four or five sections, each had one menu choice. I ordered in German and the waitress told me, also in German, that my choice wasn't available. She said they were out of the brown bread it came with. I asked if I could just have it with different bread. She said all they had was white sandwich bread and I told her that would be fine. The drinks came in glass bowls. Father had lager. Mother's meal came with a cheese selection, which she said she didn't want. I said I would look at it. About twenty different kinds of cheeses came out on a tray for our perusal.

Next thing I remember, we were in a hired car being driven to the waterfall. The driver said we would be able to drink from the waterfall for a dollar. I was thinking how nice it was to have a driver and be able to sit back and enjoy the trip.

Sronnoc Esor

Father and Jack- dream journal

Father won a bottle of Jack Daniels in a raffle. He stood in front of the assembly drinking it and talking loudly and generally acting foolishly. Mother tried to take it from him and encouraged him to have something to eat. He said all he wanted was the Jack Daniels.

We were swimming in a very nice pool when they suddenly drained the water. I thought maybe you just couldn't see the water and tried swimming anyway.

Sweet Normalcy

Ah, how nice to get back to work and have a nice normal night and be "hitting the hay" at 0800, getting ready to spend all day in bed.

Rose

Dr. Laura- talk radio

Our local radio station has morphed from country music, which I love, to talk radio. I have a sort of love/hate relationship with talk radio. If it is on, I am compelled to listen to the current caller's story and the subsequent advice given. Then I fume about the idiocy of the callers who cannot think for themselves at all and the rudeness of the talk show host, or the inadequacy of the advice offered.

Today it was "Dr. Laura", who I've never been able to stand anyway. Most of the advice I heard today was basically sound, but the lack of grace with which it is delivered offends all my sensibilities.

Note to self: listen to CDs in the car.

Rose

old fashioned roses- book club today

I attended the first fall meeting of the local book club at the library today. Having never been to a book club before, I didn't know what to expect. What I found was a nice hour or so of chatting about our favorite books. I was younger by half than anyone else there, so I'm the winner, because these people have had a lifetime to read wonderful books to tell me about.

I lazed about the rest of the day; my excuse for doing so is wearing thin. It'll be back to work for me tomorrow.

Rose

Tea with Mussolini- movie review

link

I suppose I'm the last person in the world to see this delightful film. I love Dame Judy Dench no matter what she does, Cher really delivers as Elsa, and Lily Tomlin's Georgie is unforgettable. The cinematography is flawless, the costumes, the landscapes, the art and architecture dazzle.

Aside from all that, who couldn't love these ladies who embody the spirit of humanity that all of us should emulate? No matter whether we like each other or not, let's love each other in the face of whatever obstacles stand in our way.

R.C.

The River- movie review

link

Why do we always quarrel with the way things are?

You can't change anything simply by wishing it were otherwise. You can't bring anyone back to life or get your leg back or make someone love you.

The film is a nice story beautifully shot and full of lovely images of India and information about the culture.

The other thing that I really liked was Mr. John's sentiment that we ruin childhood by filling children's minds with our taboos.

Is it better to live fully and die young or live carefully and live to old age?

The Hindu mindset that pervades the piece is a worthwhile reminder for us to have a more peaceful and accepting attitude toward life.

R.C.

fulsome- word of the day

fulsome \FUL-sum\, adjective:
1. Offensive to the taste or sensibilities.
2. Insincere or excessively lavish; especially, offensive from excess of praise.

He recorded the event in his journal: "Long evening visit from Mr. Langtree--a fulsome flatterer."
-- Edward L. Widmer, Young America: The Flowering of Democracy in New York City

Concealed disgust under the appearance of fulsome endearment.
-- Oliver Goldsmith, The Citizen of the World

Fulsome is from Middle English fulsom, from full + -som, "-some."

foggy walk

It's a lovely sunny afternoon here, but the rim of clouds over the hill tells me that it's foggy by the lake. I'm going to take advantage of my new freedom to go for a walk. Come along, but only if you can keep quiet.


They've put up new flora plaques. Let's learn some botany.

It's a beautiful misty afternoon at the lake.

Listen, I hear the tapping of a red-breasted sapsucker.

At the end of a dog-leg from the main trail, we come to the dunes. The ocean is right there above the tree line, but the fog is hiding it.

As we round the corner by the parking lot, the sun is breaking through the mist.

Thanks for coming along.

Rose

perfidious- word of the day

per·fi·dy [ púrfidee ]
noun

Definition:
deliberate treachery: treachery or deceit ( formal )

[Late 16th century. < Latin perfidia < perfidus "treacherous" < per fidem decipere "deceive through trustingness" < fides "faith, trust"]

per·fid·i·ous [ pər fíddee əss ] adjective

Friedrich Nietzche- quotes

The Christian resolution to find the world ugly and bad has made the world
ugly and bad.

The Gay Science, section 130

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher
esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.

The Dawn,
section 297

What else is love but understanding and rejoicing in
the fact that another person lives, acts, and experiences otherwise than we
do?

The most perfidious way of harming a cause consists of
defending it deliberately with faulty arguments.

The Gay Science, section 191

another favorite rose

I have been having trouble uploading photos, but this compressed file worked fine, so here is another favorite of the pictures I took at the rose garden with Mother and Father.

I vacillate between wanting to air my gripes about their visit and wanting to just move on. It was very nice to spend some time with them. I hadn't seen them in over a year. It seems our weekly+ telephone chats have kept me pretty happy. I guess I just got tired from not getting as much sleep as I'm used to and being so productive all the time, what with two cooked meals a day, chauffering, tour guiding, game playing, walking and whatnot. It makes me wonder if j. isn't right and I'm really not equipped to have children.

As things so often happen, it seems our 'gardener' showed up to do the lawn nearly the moment Mother and Father pulled out of the driveway. On a more positive note, the new stereo equipment has arrived and we will have a working stereo and television once more, which is just in time, since all I want to do is vegetate on the sofa watching movies for a while. I must stock up on junk food.

Sorry I was absent during the visit. Time to get my blogging feet under me again. Some of you should be expecting calls from me. That works well with vegetating.

Rose

another disturbing dream journal

A mentally handicapped boy suddenly dies from an arrhythmia at church. He is taken home by his father and two church members and shrouded and toasted with milk in a very strange variation of communion. I sit at the very out of tune piano and play Precious Memories very poorly while the family dresses for the funeral. Suddenly the boy struggles out of the shroud and sits up and asks for gospel music to be played. Everyone is upset at his recovery. They now rush to get ready for church. His mother appears for the first time with a very small nursing babe. There are many other children. They use the garage door to enter and exit the house. I can't find my shoes and finally run out barefooted. At church, the teacher is upset because she has lost her anonymity. I attempt to analyze the boy's telemetry strip. The tracing shows many unheard of rhythms before settling into atrial flutter after his recovery.

Sronnoc Esor

(My dream is broken as Father and then Mother knock on the bedroom door to say they are leaving for home.)

playing hooky and loving it

As predicted, work was relaxing compared to entertaining Mother and Father. My urge to spout obscenities for no particular reason has blossomed in their presence so that every night at bedtime, j. is treated to a whispered litany of all my favorites. I spent a few hours with a blind patient in her ninth decade who couldn't remember she was in the hospital, but was enlightening on details of local history. I got to see some work friends who I've missed in the few weeks since I worked last. I made a little cash & then I came home and went to sleep while Mother and Father went to church. I was happy to wake up with both kitties cuddled nearby. I opted out of church this evening without bothering to offer an excuse, which is why I have time to type in this much-neglected-of-late blog. It's nice to have a moment to myself.

Does this mean I think I'm more important than God? Well, at the moment, yes. Are my priorities out of whack, as Mother and Father might have, but in fact restrained from pointing out? If I thought so, I'd be at church right now. Would I rather listen to j. snore than listen to the reverend drone? Most decidedly.

(As an aside, Is blogger beta worth it? It doesn't seem to be.)

Rose

very busy

It is hard work entertaining my parents. Here is a taste of what we've seen. I am working tonight. That could be a rest.

Rose

another fine day

I woke up at the crack of dawn with j. this morning. It was raining, so I thought we would have to cancel our plans, which all involved outdoor activities. It stopped raining and cleared up by midmorning and we headed off to see the ocean, a rose garden, some black turnstones, pelagic cormorants, seals and sea lions, among other things. We went to a Greek restaurant for lunch and Father had hummus for the first time, which he thoroughly enjoyed. The lentil soup, however, was too spicy for him. Mother and I enjoyed panini sandwiches and bhaba ghanouj, which was delicious. They plan to stay until early next week. It's early to bed for me to rest up for more adventures. Poor j. doesn't know what to make of all this early rising and early go-to-bedding.

RC

nothing to be nervous about

I made it through two church services today, and enjoyed the day otherwise. The important thing is, Mother and Father enjoyed the church that I chose. I thought the guy said some pretty spurious stuff, like claiming that tornadoes and hurricanes are God's punishment on America for having legal abortion. He was also pretty negative. When I go to church, I guess I like to hear a reminder to be a good person or something like that. We talked too much today about how vengeful God is supposed to be for my taste. There was also some singing that I considered to have dubious claim to be music. Al things considered, it was a good result. j. didn't go to church, and there was no questioning about the whys and wherefores of our worship habits or lack thereof.

In the afternoon, we went to see a house that we might be renting and then we played bocce in the yard. I never played it before, but I got the set specifically for this visit, knowing that Father has to be doing something active a certain percentage of the time. Mother won the game by about six points.

We had another late dinner- at least 8:30- and now it's time to "hit the hay" so we're ready for another full day tomorrow. I'll be exhausted by the end of this.

Rose

nervous- dream journal

I was at some kind of hospital where everyone was in wheelchairs. I didn't have the impression that I was working, but I was one of only a few people who could walk. I must have been nervous about something, pacing the halls continuously.

I was supposed to get a ride with my old BJU roommate, Leigh. I was very tired and wanted a bowl of coffee before we left. I went into the store and had to wait in line to order. I lost my temper when a few people shoved into line in front of me. After I ordered, I had trouble finding the place to pick it up. I passed a little movie theater that was under the mall with the stadium and screen right out in the hallway. Leigh's father was in her car and she told him that he wasn't supposed to be there and said, "I thought I told you I never wanted to see you again. Get away!"

Sronnoc Esor

p.s. Leigh had a great relationship with her father, but I must be nervous. Off to church this morning.

rc

visitors

Mother and Father rang the doorbell this evening at nine o'clock as I was just getting ready to drain the pasta. We hadn't expected them for several days yet, and their cell phone wasn't getting reception, so we didn't get any calls from them. It does happen to be the weekend I took off work, though. It's good to see them and I'm looking forward to showing them around tomorrow. For now, I must get my rest.

Rose

Saints and Angels

This song talks about real love and true religion. I don't believe either one is what we commonly think of them as. Love isn't perfect, but it is powerful. I've learned that it has more power for me than a God that I can't see. So that makes j. a saint and an angel to me. I've loved this song for a long time; hearing it again tonight brought a warm feeling to my heart.

Saints and Angels
by Victoria Banks
(recorded by Sara Evans)

We're only human, baby
We walk on broken ground
We lose our way,
We come unwound

We're turnin' circles baby
We're never satisfied
We fall from grace, forget we can fly
But through all of the tears that we cry
We'll survive

Cause when we're torn apart
Shattered and scarred
Love has the grace to save us
We're just two tarnished hearts,
But in each other's arms
We become saints and angels

I love your imperfections
I love your everything
Your broken heart, your broken wings
I love you when you hold me
And when you turn away,
I love you still, and I'm not afraid
Cause I know you feel the same way
And you'll stay

Cause when we're torn apart
Shattered and scarred
Love has the grace to save us
We're just two tarnished hearts,
But in each other's arms
We become saints and angels

These feet of clay
They will not stray

Cause when we're torn apart
Shattered and scarred
Love has the grace to save us
We're just two tarnished hearts,
But in each other's arms
We become saints and angels

Listen to the recording here.

Rose

fanfaronade- word of the day

fanfaronade \fan-fair-uh-NAYD; -NOD\, noun:
1. Swaggering; empty boasting; blustering manner or behavior; ostentatious display.
2. Fanfare.

George Manahan made his debut this week as music director of New York City
Opera, and it is difficult to imagine someone laying claim to a major podium
with less of a fanfaronade.-- Justin Davidson, "A Director's Toil Pays Some
Dividends", Newsday, September 21,
1996

But like a demure singer in a long gown who is surrounded by chorus girls
in sequined miniskirts, the statue may seem slightly lost amid the
fanfaronade.-- Richard Stengel, "Rockets will glare and bands blare to celebrate
the statue", Time, July 7, 1986

Fanfaronade derives from Spanish fanfarronada, from fanfarrón, "braggart," from Arabic farfar, "garrulous."

left behind- dream journal

I was running late getting ready for school. Father was waiting outside in the pickup with Mr. Clean and Robin. I finally ran out with my things in my arms and Father pushed the door open and began pulling away, calling for me to jump in. I yelled that I couldn't get in while the truck was moving and just stood there watching him go. He lost control of the truck temporarily and went careening through the neighbor's large lawn before getting back on the road. I decided to ride my bike to school, ten miles or so. I rode along, frequently going onto the burm and once even into the creek, but it didn't affect me any, I just kept going. I got to Father's school, where we caught the second bus, took a shower and packed my lunch, and caught a ride with some friends.

Sronnoc Esor

(This event is not entirely unprecedented by reality. Father would get very impatient and pull forward in the driveway as if he was leaving. )

I'm a Great Aunt.

No, I'm not complimenting myself. My husband's neice (and therefore mine as well) just had her first baby. I'm on the fast track to something here. I've only been an aunt for ~5 years and I've already been promoted to great aunt. Meanwhile, I'm just waiting to be a mother.

R.C.

horse in the bed- dream journal

I was at work. There were nine patients and I had to take care of all of them. The two other nurses who were there weren't allowed to help me. I was very busy with a tube feeding for a while, but things finally slowed down. I noticed a man had gotten out of bed and was walking into my bedroom. I helped him find the bathroom. Later on, when I had gone to bed, the man came wandering into the room again, but this time he looked like a horse, part white and part rusty brown. The horse got in bed with me. Then it tried to bite me. I screamed and woke myself up.

Sronnoc Esor

brownies cockaigne

Here, for Ms. J, is my favorite from-scratch brownies recipe, which I found on the web but now have learned comes from The Joy of Cooking. For extra flair, pour half the batter in the pan, freeze until hard, spread a layer of all fruit raspberry jam, add the rest of the batter, and bake as indicated. Also, thanks to Nuthatch for the Golden Squares recipe. Delish. (Only three ingredients, Ms. J; near impossible to mess up!)

Brownies Cockaigne

Ingredients
1/2 cup butter
4 oz. bittersweet chocolate
4 eggs at room temperature
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 cups sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup all purpose flour, sifted
1 cup pecan meats (optional)

Preheat oven to 350 Fahrenheit

Instructions
1. Melt the butter and chocolate in a double boiler. Remove from
heat.
2. Cool this mixture. If you don't, your brownies will be heavy and
dry.
3. Beat eggs and salt until light in color and foamy in texture.
4. Add sugar and vanilla gradually and continute beating until well
creamed.
5. With a few swift strokes, combine the cooled chocolate mixture into the
eggs and sugar. Even if you normally use an electric mixer, do this
manually.
6. Before the mixture becomes uniformly colored, fold in the flour.
7. And before the flour is uniformly colored, stir in the pecans
gently.
8. Bake in a 9x13 inch pan for about 25 minutes.

Rose

abuse of cuisinart- the story tells itself

a little gripe

Ever since j. has been training at the gym, he has allowed the owner, Ayjay, to use our car to run little errands in town like getting lunch or going to his parent's house to shower. He lives at the gym and there is no shower there. Well, today j. went to get some stuff out of the car for a client and it wasn't there. Ayjay had been gone for an hour and a half. He decided to go shopping in a town 25 miles away: that's a fifty mile trip. Then he had the nerve to wonder if we wanted money for gas. At the current price of gas, that's seven or eight bucks.

Well, although I scored an 82 in cooperation and only a 47 in assertiveness, it's there that I choose to draw the line. Unless Ayjay wants to make payments and put gas in the car, he isn't using it. The man is 36 years old and he acts like a child. What should I expect from someone who can't even remember the birthdays of his children?

Rose

old times- dream journal

I was artificially inseminated by some antiquated ceremony that had to be performed in a church on a hill. It didn't work.

I was at a dinner party with my husband, a man a didn't recognize, two men he said were my sons, and a stranger. My son made a gravy by pouring together red wine and chicken broth. The potatoes were very lumpy. There were ornate hangers on the wall with two pegs designed to hold chairs that were not in use. I tried to give my younger son money as he was obviously hard up, but he refused it, saying that he was being stolen from by his landlord, who was supposed to be a family friend. I have the distinct impression that this dream was medieval.

I was at BJU where I had to ride the bus to the cafeteria. I got on at the wrong end of the route, rode for a whole hour before coming back to where I got on and finally completing the ten minute ride to the cafeteria. The old lady bus driver told me that my skirt was too short and my pantyhose were too tight. I don't know how pantyhose can be too tight. I was wearing a lovely pink fitted suit that came to midthigh and had a slit. I was still thin. The bus driver started talking about how she knew that I had put on a lot of weight after my riding accident, she insisted I had fallen off a horse, and that's why my clothes were too tight. I told her I don't ride horses and never have.

The people on the bus were very worried about their friend. She had all her stuff in a dog food bag. They wanted to give her money. She herself wasn't there. She may have gotten stuck in a foreign country in a dangerous situation.
I was going for a run. There were a lot of hills and only a very muddy path for a while. Then I passed two churches and I was home. The leaves were turning.

Sronnoc Esor

The Memorial Day of the New Century

Reminded on all sides of the grim anniversary that today is, I pause to remember.

I remember hearing the news on the radio while driving to school and thinking it must be a joke.

By Google maps, we were only 64.7 miles from Shanksville, PA, where Flight 93 went down.

I spent part of the day with XBFRN; I remember not wanting to leave.

I was supposed to work at the airport that day, but it was closed.

I turned off the television to keep from seeing that horror replayed over and over.

I thought then, and still believe now, that we will lose our freedom to terrorism if we don't stand up and hold onto it with both hands.

In memory of those who gave their lives that day, I walk free and proud, my head held high. I do not fear what may happen; I fear that I will not respond bravely and boldly.

It seems apt to quote Abraham Lincoln at this juncture. I cannot say it as well as he did.

Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a
new nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men
are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether
that nation or any nation so conceived and so dedicated can long endure. We are
met on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of
that field as a final resting-place for those who here gave their lives that
that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do
this.

But, in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we
cannot hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead who struggled here
have consecrated it far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will
little note nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what
they did here. It is for us the living rather to be dedicated here to the
unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It
is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us --
that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which
they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that
these dead shall not have died in vain, that this nation under God shall have a
new birth of freedom, and that government of the people, by the people, for the
people shall not perish from the earth.

murder- dream journal

j. and I were walking in the mall very early in the morning when hardly anyone was there when I came upon a bloody toilet plunger. It was clearly a murder weapon, and I was afraid that it would somehow falsely implicate me if I pointed it out to authorities. I hid it in my pant leg and, careful to wipe off my prints stowed it in the ladies room where I hoped noone would find it. After that we walked around the mall for quite a while. Can't just run away after a move like that. j. and I got split up and I was in all sorts of long dark hallways and empty shops looking for him. Finally, the authorities started to swarm the mall, checking everybody. I skirted the cops by donning skates and cutting through the roller rink and we escaped.

After that I was summoned quickly to Sunday School, where there was some severe emergency with the kids. I couldn't make heads nor tails of what was happening there. Then I was running around with three guys in dry suits they had stolen. The guys they stole the suits from were hot on their trails, so they stripped off the dry suits and darted into a nearby plant nusery where they got work uniforms and jobs. I wanted to buy a potted yellow rose, so I put it in the plant holder that was built into the hood of my sweatshirt. I wanted some burgundy mums and the boys that worked there were busy trying to convince me to try mauve, cranberry and a lot of other reds that I didn't want.

Sronnoc Esor

the sun'll come out tomorrow- never doubt it

After two days of mild to moderate agony and apathy, I am out of the pit (and hopefully far enough away that I'm not going to fall in again anytime soon.) In case you didn't figure it out, the moaning was the usual, predictable malady, pronounced by increased odds from the absence of agony last month. Finally, this evening, I got out of bed, prepared my signature comfort meal of grilled cheese sandwich fingers dipped in tomato soup, and popped Northern Exposure in the DVD player. I followed that with fresh peaches and strawberry jell-o; and even did a long yoga workout, trying out some new poses to work into the class. After groaning and demanding to be waited on all weekend, it is remarkably refreshing to want to do things for myself. I'll not torture you further with my failings (until next time I'm feeling poorly.)

Rose

my personality score

My Personality

Neuroticism	34
Extraversion	16
Openness To Experience	79
Agreeableness	65
Conscientiousness	45

Test Yourself Compare Yourself View Full Report MySpace Surveys, Bebo and MySpace Layouts by Pulseware Survey Software

ambush

I was knocked to me knees from behind by a solid blow to the mid-section. As I lay curled helplessly on the ground, a kick in the kidneys sent me tumbling into a steep-walled, dark pit with a tiny ring of light at the top. I foggily assessed the damage; I felt as if every bone had been broken. Fairy sprites in the form of kittens licked my wounds and gave me their own warmth to soothe my ailing body. The spell they wove around me made me sleep and gave me sweet surcease from pain.

When I awoke, gradually and cautiously, the sprites still in attendance, I attempted to scale the sides of that vile abyss to freedom. I was making progress, the circle of light was growing, when suddenly a pike darted down from above and returned me to the bottom, in worse condition than before.

Now I allow the fairy sprites their ministrations and idly contemplate the possibilities. Although it is dark, I am getting used to it. The kittens make it tolerable and even pleasant at times. I will stay a while and gather my strength. When I am well enough, the ambushers-in-the-dark will skulk away without showing their faces out of fear for me.

Rose

face in the sun- an abstract expression

down the road- dream journal

To get to the place I had to park at the farmhouse and walk through it. I then went down a dusty road and over a bridge. I don' know what it was or what I was doing there. It was something like a large truck farm. When I went to cross the bridge the other way to leave, some of the men who worked there started reaching out to touch me. It scared me. A few men put me on some kind of wagon or gurney and pushed me down the road, through a mob of men. The crowd parted in front of us, and soon I was back safely at the farmhouse.

As I walked down the hall and into the kitchen on the way back to my car, a woman spoke to me. She was arranging flowers. I apologized for being in her home and explained the reason. She told me it was okay and struck up a conversation with me. We talked about the remodeling she had done to the building. The walls used to be painted bright rainbow colors and she had replaced it all with a warm brown. I told her I always thought it would have looked nice if the natural brick and log structure had just been shellaced.

I began to notice multiple slides and stairs leading to the basement. Men dressed in work uniforms with helmets were coming and going. I understood that they kept the furnace burning that heated the place. I got in a conversation with one of them when the lady went outside to get more flowers. She was arranging a dinner party. Banquet tables were set up in several different rooms, but she said the party wasn't to be for a few months yet. She then invited me to come live in number eleven. I used to know someone who lived in number eleven and remembered it being nice.

Sronnoc Esor

Vade mecum- word of the day

vade mecum \vay-dee-MEE-kuhm; vah-dee-MAY-\, noun:

1. A book for ready reference; a manual; a handbook.
2. A useful thing that one regularly carries about.

The reader who wants honestly to understand it, and not merely read
into it his own ideas, needs some kind of vade mecum to provide
the necessary background and explain unfamiliar words and allusions and strange
turns of thought.-- Robert C. Dentan, "Including Uz and Buz", New York Times, November 17, 1968

Roget's Thesaurus, which had come into being as a linguistic example of the
Platonic ideal, became instead a vade mecum for the crossword
cheat.-- Simon Winchester, "Word Imperfect", The Atlantic, May 2001

Vade mecum is from Latin, literally meaning "go with
me."

Question for my readers:

What is your vade mecum?

Mine? depends on the day:

Taber's medical encyclopedia or Focus Guide to North American Birds

Rose

teaching- dream journal

I was preparing to teach fourth through sixth grades in the upcoming school year. I had my room and most of my teaching materials and lesson plans ready when my brother Mr. Clean told me that he wanted to teach those grades and asked if I could teach high school instead. I agreed. Then there was the first day of school where I did a live demonstration of a blood transfusion on the phlebotomist from the lab. I ran it in a bit fast: about 30 minutes instead of four hours. The scene sort of morphed into the hospital where I couldn't find any of the supplies I needed, someone was going without TPN for most of the shift because I couldn't find an IV pump.

Sronnoc Esor

Hamlet- movie review

link

the complete play

This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night
the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.

There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.

It's hard to follow the genius of the master playwright himself with a fair review. I've chosen a few favorite quotes above, but the best review would be to follow the link and read the play yourself. Full of food for thought enough to chew over for a great while.

What is madness? What causes it? Who determines who the sane ones are? Are we all crazy, and perceive those few sane ones to be mad?

Is it crazy, like Hamlet, to see the spirits of those dead? Is it crazy to grieve like Ophelia and take your own life? Is it crazy to murder your brother for his crown and his wife? Is it crazy to seek revenge for a loved one's death? Is there an cure for madness?

“Madness is to think of too many things in succession too fast, or of one thing too exclusively”
Voltaire

“'But I don’t want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.'Oh, you can’t help that,' said the Cat. 'We’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.''How do you know I’m mad?' said Alice.'You must be,” said the Cat. 'or you wouldn’t have come here.'”
Lewis Carroll

“It is only too true that a lot of artists are mentally ill- it's a life which, to put it mildly, makes one an outsider. I'm all right when I completely immerse myself in work, but I'll always remain half crazy.”
Vincent van Gogh

“There is no genius free from some tincture of madness”
Seneca

“Idiosyncratic belief systems which are shared by only a few adherents are likely to be regarded as delusional. Belief systems which may be just as irrational but which are shared by millions are called world religions.i.e. When a man suffers from delusions he is described as mad but when a million do so they belong to a world religion.”
Anthony Storr


See if thinking about it doesn't drive you crazy.

R. Connors

Shadow makes her own toys

(After much frustration, trying to post this for two days, I finally realized that I wasn't using a jpeg.)

Shadow loves to go get her rubber band and hook it on a stationary object, often the piano pedals, and play the banjo with it. I had the good fortune to catch her in the act.

Rose

Pervicacious- word of the day

pervicacious \puhr-vih-KAY-shuhs\, adjective:Refusing to change one's ideas, behavior, etc.; stubborn; obstinate.

In fact, I'm a word nerd. I get a kick out of tossing a few odd ones intomy
column, just to see if the pervicacious editors will weed them out.-- Michael
Hawley, "Things That Matter: Waiting for Linguistic Viagra", Technology Review, June, 2001

One of the most pervicacious young creatures that ever was heard of.-- Samuel
Richardson, Clarissa

The language of the bureaucrats and administrators must needs be recognized as
an outgrowth of legal parlance. There is no other way to explain itspervading,
pervicacious and pernicious meanderings.-- New
York Law Journal, May 27, 1909

Pervicacious is from Latin pervicax, pervicac-, "stubborn, headstrong," from root pervic- of pervincere, "to carry ones point, maintain ones opinion," from per-, "through, thoroughly" + vincere, "to conquer, prevail against" + the suffix -ious, "characterized by, full of."

bumper cars- dream journal

I was on some kind of trip. I was staying in a co-ed dorm sort of like an old cabin at summer camp. When I woke up to go to the bathroom, I had quite a little walk. The kitties had to stay in some kind of little kennel. I left my striped zoo blanket with them. I drove the car down to check on them and couldn't find the brake. I went careening into the lawn and was about to hit a palm tree when I finally bent down and pushed the brake with my hand. After that I put the car in first gear and drove around very slowly. The kitties didn't want to stay in the kennel and Robin was helping me with them.

Then I found out that you can get genetic modules for people for physical features or personality traits. I guess there's a zip up panel in the back where you change them out.

Sronnoc Esor

yoga class

I had just j. and one other person at the yoga class. j. says it needs to be longer, but was otherwise good.

Rose

A Song of Peace

This song is in one of my piano books. I came upon it and played it today. As always, the words and the music carry much meaning for me. It used to be played on the school bus when I was in grade school.

Our conservative mindset was outraged by the idea that God is merely watching from afar, doing nothing. Today, I ask, what does it really mean? Is it a theological statement that God set the universe in motion and watches to see what happens? Is is meant to be a comfort that at least God is there?

More to the point is the content of the verses. If only I could go to that place where there is nothing but the peace and calm of nature and stay there. If only every one did have enough. If only no one were fighting. If only harmony and hope and peace and love enveloped us all.

I am reminded to promote harmony and hope and peace and love in the circle that I can reach. I am encouraged to find the good in myself and others and to exude positive energy to those around me.

From a Distance
words and music by Julie Gold, 1986

From a distance the world looks blue and green, and the snow capped
mountains white.
From a distance the ocean meets the stream, and the eagle takes to
flight.
From a distance there is harmony, and it echoes through the land.
It's the voice of hope, it's the voice of peace, it's the voice of every
man.

From a distance we all have enough, and no one is in need.
There are no guns, no bombs, no diseases, no hungry mouths to feed.
From a distance we are instruments, marching in a common band.
Playing songs of hope, playing songs of peace, they're the songs of every
man.

God is watching us,
God is watching us,
God is watching us from a distance.

From a distance you look like my friend, even though we are at war.
From a distance I can't comprehend what all this war is for.
From a distance there is harmony, and it echoes through the land.
It's the hope of hopes, it's the love of loves, it's the heart of every
man.
It's the hope of hopes, it's the love of loves, it's the song of every
man.

Namaste,

Rose

odds and ends

I can't remember the story line, but Brownie was in my dreams again last night. As usual he was hyper-friendly and completely platonic.

Mother and Father left for Oregon today. They will be taking two weeks or so to drive from Pennsylvania to Oregon in their big Chevy Express van. They intend to take in all the sights and increase their bird lists. Wave if you see them. They'll be on a back road, propably driving in circles. Kindly point west.

House cleaning is beginning in earnest in preparation. Yesterday was floor mopping. I'll probably even dust before they arrive.

I got my deck of yoga poses in the mail today. The mailman made a great production out of stuffing that, along with two Netflix movies, and a lot of junk catalogs in the mailbox. It was a bit of a struggle getting it all out.

I've spread out the cards on the floor in the order I plan to teach it. I've run throught the sequence in fast forward twice on my own and once with j. so far. Before class, I plan to do a final practice in real time. I'll let you know how that goes when I get back. I'm starting to hope that no one shows.

Kudos to my neice, A.E., who is about 14 months now, on peeing on the potty. Big girl!

Robin, here's hoping nursing school is going well. I miss talking to you, but I know you're busy.

Big M, welcome to Blogland.

Rose

continuation of the in-laws saga

(for part one, see archive from July 19)

A while after Obbie's death, her two sisters started coming around. They would ride around town with Joe in his convertibe, all three in the front seat with the top down. The one we'll call Gimlet started going to Florida with Joe every summer. She was the youngest one, and had always been homely. She was never married. She spent her life cooking for her brothers and caring for her sister, who eventually died of hepatitis that she got on a cruise. She had worked for the state and retired with some money put away. Joe was bad with money. All his property was mortgaged at least twice. The local banks, where his name used to be like gold, turned him away. So he started borrowing Gimlet's life savings. He spent it all in very little time. People started asking Joe and Gimlet when they were getting married. Gimlet had been waiting for this all her life. Joe was pressured into a marriage he didn't particularly want for the second time in his life.

j. reluctantly made the trip to his father's second wedding, hoping to talk him out of a second marriage at his age. Joe was closeted away, refusing to talk to anyone. Turns out he was not only reclusive, but ill. He went through with it, though. How could he not marry her after he spent all her money? Gimlet moved into the family house on Ocean Avenue and she's never left. She has been systematically giving away or throwing away Obbie's things.

I forget how long Joe and Gimlet were married. Joe had a swallowing problem that was giving him increasing trouble. His daughter Patience made an appointment for him to see a specialist. Gimlet couldn't wait for the appointment though. She made her own appointment for Joe with a lesser local doctor. Joe went in for an outpatient procedure on his esophagus. When he came home that night, he complained of pain. Gimlet told him not to be such a baby. She started giving him antacids, disregarding the doctor's instruction to take such an event seriously. Finally, Joe returned to the hospital. His esophagus hadn't stopped bleeding. He bled out on the operating table, full of liters and liters of fluid that made him unnaturally bloated in his coffin.

In his will Joe had made Gimlet trustee of all that he had, given her the house outright, and cut out j. completely. She is mismanaging it to this very day.

R.C.

scan- dream journal

I waited anxiously for the man to return and tell me the results of the scan. Had the egg been fertilized? Had it stuck? Finally, I sought him out in the upstairs attic room.

"Did it work?" I asked.

He replied confidently, "Of course."

j. and I hugged and kissed and cried a little. I shouted out to a woman passing through the room that I was pregnant.

Sronnoc Esor

Are all auto mechanics male shovenists?

It was past time to take the car in for an oil change. Since we traveled to Urban Center today, we decided to have the Wal-Mart lube guy do it.

This sparked my memory of the last time we did that. j. went into the store while I handled the work order. We were supposed to be paged in store when it was done, but after an hour or so without hearing anything, I headed back to the desk to inquire. The man informed me that they hadn't started yet because they wanted to tell me that there was no oil in the car when they started. I signed the form and told them to hop to it. Near another hour must have passed when we checked again and they were almost finished. Mr. Mechanic informed me that the tires were dangerously bald, and I should have them changed as well. j. showed up at this juncture and told Mr. Mechanic that we didn't want new tires.

Now our car is leased, low miles, and less than two years old. It has very sophisticated warning systems that would certainly go off in the absence of oil. Not only that, but I can change the oil quite capably myself, I just prefer not to.

So today, I asked j. to take care of the details while I shopped. Don't you know, everything was fine? Those same old tires that we had before grew new tread apparently, cause they aren't even bald anymore.

It sort of riles me up that I can't do something simple like get the oil changed without being preyed upon by opportunists who see women as easy targets. I suppose that guy hits his wife, if he managed to get one somehow.

R.C.

Random Quotes Meme

Link to the random quotes website and browse until you find five quotes that represent your thinking.

I pack my trunk, embrace my friends, embark on the sea, and at last wake up in Naples, and there beside me is the Stern Fact, the Sad Self, unrelenting, identical, that I fled from.
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.
Epictetus (55AD-135AD)

Seize the moment of excited curiosity on any subject to solve your doubts: for if you let it pass, the desire may never return, and you may remain in ignorance.
William Wirt (1772-1834)

Person to person, moment to moment, as we love, we change the world.
Samahria Lyte Kaufman

The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.
George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

Rose

Sleepy Hollow- movie review

link
Derived from the story by the same name by Washington Irving.

The use of color and lack thereof in this film is breathtakingly effective.
The most vibrant colors are in dream sequences. However, when the evil is defeated at the end, the color becomes normal.

“This is the only book I recommend you read.”- Rev. Steenwyck, referring to the Bible.
A book containing compilations of spells is given to Crane by Katrina van Tassel. The book protects him from being killed by a musket ball.

The question I kept asking throughout the movie was: Will science or superstition contain the solution to the murders? The delightful answer: both.

“Villainy wears many masks, none so dangerous as the mask of virtue.”

A clever retelling of an old story. I could have been happy without some of the gory special effects, but they were generally well done, with exceptions.

What is the true answer to what caused all this evil?

Selfishness and Greed.

Whether you believe in witchcraft and supernatural events or not, you have to believe in that. And that makes the story pertinent.

R. Connors

what's happening to the farm? dream journal

There was something about being hungry at work. I had noodles in my locker, but I had to clean out the container before I mad them, because I had left something in it before. People were passing around a sign up sheet to study for something. I can't remember what.

I was in the back field at Granny's farm, just taking a walk. I found something that didn't belong there. Then I ran into some friends, I don't remember who. We noticed the condos on the property. Some were new and were being rented out by tourists. Others wre in a terrible state of disrepair. I decided that I wanted to explore the ruins. We tried a few doors that were locked before coming to one that hung ajar. We cautiously entered, only to find that it was full of feral cats that looked dirty and dangerous. We backed out and found another one that was open. I can't remember what was in there.

(This was surreal. There was a binder shed at Granny's that I loved to explore. It had cool old stuff in it. In the general area, farms are being sold to developers, but Granny's property is still intact.)

Sronnoc Esor