Sometimes it Feels Like Three AM

Pacific aster aster chilensis (native)

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I've neglected mowing the grassy lot next door during the dry months of summer. My reward is this lovely large clump of asters that have grown up and bloomed as a result. Asters are my favorite, and I'll take it over a grassy expanse any day.

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I find myself getting antsy when I don't work as much as I'm used to. Poor jc gets tortured by my snippiness over everything from dirty dishes in the sink to completely inane things not worth mentioning. I smoke the odd cigarette and enjoy the momentary calm that chemicals bring. I play the piano, sometimes giving up in the middle of a song to look for something else to divert my attention. When it gets bad enough, I do the dishes or some other household chore. I make one thousand trips out the back door, down the three steps, across the little yard, and up three steps into jc's shed office, where I sit down briefly before getting up and pacing over to look out the door.

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Lest my inbox fill with compassionate notes, varying from heartfelt sympathy to well-meant advice, I must disclaim. These lapses of discontented boredom invariably dissipate into nothingness when some event, known or unknown, (in this case writing it down) brings an end to the wandering.

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Rose