Wednesday, September 12, 2007

a Parasite

Dahlia Man employs a local boy-man for yardwork. I'll call him the Flea. The Flea shows up to do yardwork when he's short of cash and can't find work crabbing, fishing, or picking mushrooms. The grass had gotten quite tall by the time the Flea called this time to say that he wanted to come by and talk. Dahlia Man told me to expect his visit when I came Sunday afternoon. He advised me to sit quietly and listen while he confronted the Flea with some facts.
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The Flea is a shortish boy-man in his late twenties. He chose a seat next to Dahlia Man, making eye contact difficult to impossible. He speaks with poor grammar, stuttering and mumbling, necessitating frequent repetition, and saying little of import. Dahlia Man introduced me as his friend Mrs. Connors, making his high regard for me clear. I sat quietly sipping porter.
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After a bit of small talk, the Flea revealed that there was no specific purpose for his visit. Dahlia Man said, "Fine, because I have something to talk to you about. You know I don't pull any punches, so I'll be straight with you. You stole from me."
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The Flea assumed a shocked and bewildered look and said, "When did I steal from you?"
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"I gave you thirty dollars to pay Frank for the mower, but he never got it."
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"I stopped to give it to him that day, but he wasn't there." the Flea stuttered. "I wound up spending it and just gave it to him a few days ago."
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Charlie withheld comment and raised another issue. "I gave you fifty dollars for wood two years ago and I haven't seen it yet. When can I expect to get that?"
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"I didn't have any way to bring it by and then my buddy used up most of it."
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"Then we agree that you owe me eighty dollars?"
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The Flea didn't disagree. Dahlia Man made arrangements with the Flea to come the next day for yardwork and summarily dismissed him. The Flea didn't get the hint and required two more invitations before he left.
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Dahlia Man updated me on the affair today. The Flea showed up as agreed on Monday and worked five hours. He then came in for payment and Dahlia Man told him, "We're even now. You don't owe me anything and I don't owe you anything." The Flea protested, then fumed, then threatened, and finally left. After making wireless calls in the driveway for twenty minutes, he came back in to ask for the loan of ten dollars for gas money which Dahlia Man refused abruptly. The Flea then departed in a huff.
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The Flea called again today while I was there to say that he would be there tomorrow to trim the hedges.
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R. Connors

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