Girls' Day

My cousin Gaia left the kids with a babysitter and we set out for a fun day. We shopped, went for a hike, got a bite to eat, and visited the family graves. But mostly we just talked. The best kind of day.

Rose

Last Day

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We stayed at the cottage for our last day, swimming, playing on the swingsets, handwashing some laundry, and cleaning out the refrigerator. In the evening we went for one last walk in downtown sandwich and stopped at the Bean and Bagel for iced coffee and a muffin. A.E. could hardly tear herself away from the basket of children's books they had there, preferring it even to her chocolate muffin, or cupcake as she referred to it. A strange woman dug through the basket of newspapers to find a map of Cape Cod and inexplicably flexed her bicep at us in imitation.
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rc

The Boat that Works

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Our grand plans for the Nantucket Ferry or whale watching seemed far too grand this near the end of a busy week. We settled on the Duckmobile instead. A restored U.S. military amphibious vehicle is the ride for a brief tour of town and the harbor, replete with corny jokes from the guide and quacking in unison at passersby. A.E. was enthralled, grinning broadly the entire time.
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rc

Fancy Tea

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Today we went to storytime again. A.E. was bored by the story, but fascinated when Miss Mary brought the frog out to "pat". Froggie obliged by getting away and causing a scene.
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We went to the tea room at lunchtime for "fancy tea". We consumed a pot of something light and fruity known as Courtship Tea, accompanied by cheese, bread, fruit, and a spicy chutney.
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Following a tip, we made the drive to Wood's Hole, where we were told there was a free aquarium with a touching pool for kids. We did slightly more driving in circles than touches ocean life, and the touch pool turned out to be mostly full of seashells.
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For dinner, I had my much awaited Ipswich clams, which were somehow unsatisfying. We were happy to make it back to the cottage to swim and swing to our hearts' content.
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rc

Mayflower II

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A.E., lured by the promise of going on a boat, was distinctly disappointed by the hot, crowded Mayflower, which simply sits at the harbor. She insisted, "I want to go on a boat that works!" We promised to make good on that later in the week.
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rc

Sandwich

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We went to the Thornton Burgess house for storytime. We got there early and explored a historic graveyard, where we watched a hawk hunting for breakfast, and rescued a Little Piggy from the Big Bad Wolf. We drank the sweet water from the public drinking fountain at the grist mill. Miss Mary delighted the children with one of Burgess' animal stories and then introduced the children to an albino garter snake, which delighted A.E.. She played in the pond, startling a frog with its protuberant eyes emerging from the green surface of the water.
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rc

Banned

We took a drive down the Cape today, drinking in the quaint sights. We stopped at this cute beach. Before we were out of the car, I was approached by a teenage girl in red shorts who we had seen seated on the sidewalk on the way in.

"Do you have a pass?" she queried.

"Where do I get one?" I replied.

She began to give me directions before asking, "Are you a resident?"

"No." I answered.

The conversation changed from there. "This beach is for residents only."

We looked for a sign on the way out, but still didn't see one. This was our first taste of the real New England, but there was more to come.

Rose

to the Cape

Bleary-eyed after the red-eye from Portland, I napped at the baggage claim while waiting for Robin and A.E. to arrive. Their baggage arrived, and I pulled it from the conveyor and stacked it with my own. Finally, my tall, pigtailed sister, and sunny, towheaded niece came down the escalator. We caught the rental car shuttle, completed the check-in process, and found a gray Mustang waiting in the assigned spot. We took a rather scenic route to the Cape and checked into our cottage.
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A.E. had her Dora suitcase opened when we were barely inside, pulling out her Dora bathing suit. We were equally happy to dip in the pool for relief after a warm, busy day. We played on the swing set after our swim, then went for groceries, and went to bed.
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Rose

Dogs and Names

jc likes to say that our little Shadowhead is his shadow. She really does follow him around a lot. His comment on her name got me thinking about all the dogs we had growing up.

Happy: Mother and Father bought the house they still live in to make room for a second baby when the Baptist Nun was born. Big M was devastated by the idea of the move. He was really attached to the little upstairs apartment in Port Matilda that he'd called home his whole, short life. As a sort of bribe or incentive, Mother and Father promised that he could have a puppy at the new house. Big M didn't really go for it, but they got a collie puppy anyway. She was a friendly, pleasant dog, and I don't remember her causing any more trouble than running off to roam the woods, occasionally for a few days at a time. She was bitten by a copperhead once and the flesh on the bitten leg shriveled. One day we came home from somewhere and went around the side of the house to find Happy's body. It's one of the few times I've seen Big M cry. I think it's safe to say that he wound up liking her better than the apartment after all.

Bandit: I don't remember much about Bandit, our new sheep dog, primarily because she was a One-Man Dog. She was devoted to Big M and they seemed inseparable, but she was barely civil with anyone else. I vaguely remember that she didn't like Father much at all. One day we were driving the mice out of the straw mulch in the potato patch and ending their lives with softball bats. Paul Fisher was there with us, standing at the end of the patch, bludgeoning mice. Bandit must have taken it the wrong way and decided to bite him. That's an unforgivable offence where we come from, and Bandit got a death sentence without benefit of a jury trial. It's what we called "putting her down", but just amounted to Father shooting her. At least that's what I remember.

Deputy: I don't know exactly what breed of mutt Deputy was. Grandmother got Ringo from the same litter, probably from some local farmer. Deputy's besetting sin was chasing cars. That must have been around the time that Father put up the fence around the yard. I think Deputy was finally hit by a car, but I'm not really sure.

Lady: After such bad luck with dogs in a relatively short time, we got a puppy from my cousin's dog. Father postulated that she might grow up to be a nicer dog if she had a more pleasant name. He thought maybe Deputy and Bandit had turned out so badly because of the cowboy names Big M had come up with. So the new puppy was named Lady in hopes that she would be ladlylike. One day Lady treed a raccoon. Everyone knows that 'coons that come out in daylight are likely to be rabid, and there was a possibility that Lady had bitten the 'coon. Father worried about the possibility of rabies and decreed that Lady should be quarantined. He built a long narrow pen with wood floor and wire fencing for walls and put the doghouse at one end. Even after it became obvious that Lady hadn't acquired rabies from her alleged 'coon-biting, she was still confined to the pen. She didn't have much reason to be friendly. Finally Big M took Lady with him to his new house. She died naturally at an advanced age. We found her lying out in the cold rain, but at least she didn't have to die in that pen.

Frohlich: When I moved to Utah, I got a puppy. I wasn't allowed to have an indoor dog where I lived. I don't know if I had shaken the conviction that animals should be kept outdoors by then or not, but Frohlich lived in the fenced yard. She whined and cried so much the first night that I took my sleeping bag outside and slept beside her. She was a Sheltie/Dalmatian cross. She loved to ride in the car, and when she got a chance she loved to run around the neighborhood. The best way to get her to come home was to get in the car. We went for walks and hiked the canyon together. One day when I was climbing rocks, she left the friends who were watching her to follow me and got lost. She survived a week in the wild canyon with no noticeable harm and was finally returned to me. She went back to Pennsylvania with me. One day a neighbor, driving too fast down our narrow lane, hit her. Sometimes I still miss her.

Big M has two new dogs now, one of them an indoor dog. I have my kitties. I don't think the names we give them matter that much; I think the love we give them is more important.

Rose

Comfort

Grandma Comfort came to visit with me in my dreams last night. We sat at her kitchen table and talked. She couldn't have come when I needed it more. Her visits are always so tangible and credible to me. It was like a warm hug.

Rose

Sun

The sun finally came out today. It was a welcome change after the recent rain. This appears to be a writing slump for me. Better days will come.

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rc

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(Confidential to Robin: We'll talk soon. I miss you. Kisses to A.E.)

Road Trip

Pennsylvania hardwood forest

Monday morning I was off on a road trip to see my old friends. The first stop was SheWCBN. She was beautiful and comforting and accepting. We sat and drank coffee and talked. Our topics run the gamut and have no limitations. Her new baby is delightful. He’s at the rocking stage of crawling, and he entertains himself. The morning passed quickly, I had a very pleasant beer with lunch, and was on my way to the next stop.
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I stopped at a beer distributor along the road, only to discover that in Pennsylvania, buying beer is far from simple. They only sell it by the case. You have to go to a bar for a six-pack. I continued on my way, but my Mapquest directions failed me and I couldn’t find my hotel. I finally called XBFRN, who I was supposed to be meeting, to get help. He stayed on the phone, giving me turn by turn directions. We got sandwiches and beer and hung out watching television just like old times. He is as easy and comfortable as ever to be around.

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I slept badly and woke up early, so I headed off for Tera’s. She hasn’t changed much either. We visited and her girls showed off their handstanding and floor sliding abilities. Pretty women run in that family. She can’t understand my current belief system, but does a fair job of agreeing to disagree. I fed my uneasy stomach the potato soup and grilled cheese Tera prepared and said goodbye.
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My cousin L.D’s house was a turmoil of children doing chores, so she took me to the bar where she works and I sipped a delightful creamy porter, brewed locally, while L.D. drank a cosmo and we indulged in girl talk. L.D. is like another sister, always a delight to spend time with, always cheerful and accepting. The afternoon was over too soon and I drove back to my parents.

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rc

Farm Animals

We took A.E. up the street to see the neighbor's goats on Thursday. After that she played outside, getting as dirty as any country kid. Friday we went to the farm and showed her the cows and horses. This is the last picture of the trip before my memory card bit the dust.

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After that the family went out for lunch. In the evening Little M had us over for homemade ice cream. We rewatched A Few Good Men and munched chips. A.E. drug out the kid-sized rocking chair and a teddy bear as big as herself and had a grand time.

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Robin woke me early to say goodbye on Saturday morning, and the rest of the day passed uneventfully. I relaxed with Mother and Father, reading, playing Scrabble, and finally solving a Kakuro. The parents seemed so much more relaxed without all the extra company to entertain.

Back at the Ranch

view of home from woods

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Robin and her family were already there when I arrived at Mother and Father’s. I got my old room in the basement, the one Father built on for Baptist Nun when she moved home after college. After only a few hours sleep the night before, it was a relief to fall into the comfortable bed, pull the quilt up around my ears, and sleep. Halfway through the night, I was reminded of the room’s position directly below the house’s one bathroom by the sound of floorboards creaking and the toilet flushing.
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Thanksgiving Day dawned early. I awoke at first floorboard creaking and took a walk in the woods. We went to Big M’s house for turkey dinner complete with Little M’s signature stuffing balls. After lunch, we exchanged gifts. Robin and I won’t make it back for Christmas. I got a book about Confucious from Robin and chocolates and a gift card from Big and Little M. In the afternoon, I had a nice conversation with Little M in the kitchen. I like her as a sister-in-law.
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We went to Aunt Janice’s in the evening and ate the leftovers of her Thanksgiving feast. Aunt Janice doesn’t like turkey and always has ham, which was quite good. I would also highly recommend Wegman’s cranberry relish. A few family secrets were shared, and I found myself deep in a friendly, sparring debate with Uncle George: an unexpected but pleasant surprise.

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Rose

Raptor in the Wetland

Big M sent me this picture of a Pennsylvania Bald Eagle, which he took in the created wetland near his house, where I used to live. When I went to crop out the bird, I found that I couldn't stand to cut out all the background because of its nostalgic beauty.

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I seem to be settling into a schedule of working Monday and Tuesdays now. The hospital where I've done nearly all my agency work so far is busy and short-staffed. They also like to have generous staffing ratios, which makes it a nice place to work. They've been asking for me nearly every day this week.

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rc

Hard to Identify

I was riding around on my (borrowed) bike this afternoon looking for an image to illustrate what I wanted to write about when I came across this unlikely pair. I can't be entirely sure what they are. My best guesses are California Gull and Caspian Tern. But I should come to the point. These birds are hard to name precisely, just as my feelings are a little bit up in the air. I'm frankly delighted that the little orange bar on my stat counter that indicates repeat visitors has been growing higher every day. I welcome my friends and family here.

When I started the blog, I was sure that my clever pseudonym would keep those I know away, giving me perfect freedom to write about anything I wanted. Little did I realize at the time that, in many ways, a more real freedom came when I went public. Some of you have clicked on archived posts that scandalized you. It's true that I never meant for you to see them, but now that you have, that's one less secret that I have to keep, one less silent lie to tell you, one less brick in the wall that separates you from knowing who I've turned into.

Now that it's happened, I understand that I never truly wanted to be artificial with you. A burden has been lifted. For some of you, this means you can add specific items about me to your prayer lists. That's okay. I'm not sure right now where the prayers go, but I'm willing to admit that they could help me. SheWCBN (She Who Cannot Be Named) is certain that I'm thinking clearly enough to come around to the truth eventually. Mr. Clean assures me that I'll find the real truth when I die if I fail to admit it sooner. Baptist Nun offers me an ear and counsel when I need it. Each one has her own level of acceptance and understanding.

What am I asking for? Understanding would be wonderful, but I know that not everyone can. Acceptance is nice too, whether complete or partial. I would not be so foolish as to expect approval, nor do I need it. This is Real Life. I've chosen my Partner, who gives me unconditional love, acceptance, understanding, and approval. He's as easy to name as a Meadowlark.

Rose

p.s. I welcome your comments. I know you have something to say.

Disembarkation

Fairchild Tropical Garden

We got a rental car on our day in Miami and went to Fairchild Tropical Garden. It was hot and buggy there, so after a light lunch of Cobb salad for me and a portabello wrap for Robin, we decided to drive around and see things from the comfort of the car. A.E. fell asleep in her seat and Robin napped off and on while I showed her our old apartment building, the tree we got married under, and other old haunts from when we lived in Coral Gables. We stopped on Miracle Mile for a smoothie and then went to the airport. Flights were delayed by an hour or so, but we all made it home from a successful vacation.

Rose

Fun Day at Sea

Play-Doh sculpture; ship and train

On our "fun day at sea" we slept in, took a long nap, and went to bed early. We also ate several meals. In between times, we played with "doh-doh", read books, played in the pool, and played ring-around-the-rosy. Afer the kiddie pool closed, A.E. got out the sunscreen and started asking to play in the "wally". Robin let her play in the shower for a while, an acceptable if not superior substitute. Then A.E. got her car seat out. It's almost time to go home.

Rose

Birds of Mexico

We decided to stay on shore for the day in Mexico and instead spent the day by the kiddie pool again. Great-tailed grackles and giant grasshoppers 3-4 inches long swooped onto deck for a snack. As we sipped fruity drinks and watched the long line of people waiting for a taxi from the port of Calica to Playa del Carmen, we did not regret our choice. After a nap we did get off the ship, take a walk around and a few pictures, and get back on. We sat for pictures and wandered the decks after dinner, then put A.E. in her jammies and found a seat in the Dynasty Lounge for the early show. It was a father and son who call themselves the Fire Gauchos from Argentina. They played the drums and danced while swing around whips with live coals andstrings with balls on the ends. It was an interesting show, followed by a terrible comedian. A.E. fell asleep before the show started, and after it was over we all went to bed. We had decided to push the twin beds together to make a larger sofa and play area for daytime.

rc

Key West Day

Truman Annex

After staying up late with serious sister talk, we were awake with first light and A.E. to see land come into view as we arrived in Key West. Room service arrived shortly with coffee and bagels and lox. We got ourselves ready and headed for shore. Only later did we discover that the reason there was no line to get off the ship was that we used the employees' debarkation post. The ship was docked at the naval station, so a free shuttle was provided to Mallory Square. We bought and mailed postcards and did a little shopping. I bought a few outfits and a new bikini just in case my bag didn't make it and we both got a sari-inspired wrap. The heat was already pretty stifling, so we decided to call it a day and caught the shuttle back to the ship. A.E. loved the "train-train" and the wild Key West chickens.

Back shipboard we got something to eat, took a nap, and spent the afternoon in the kiddie pool. A.E. spent a long time climbing the steps into the pool, walking across to climb the steps out the other side, and run around to repeat the process.

We decided to try the dining room tonight. A.E. had been a little fussy and we didn't know how she would handle it, but the wait staff was very friendly and made the best of it. Nonetheless, we decided it was hardly worthwhile to us to go to all the trouble. We're exhausted after dinner, so we're watching some Northern Exposure on the laptop and going to sleep.

Rose