Recharging

I received a notice today that USCIS forwarded our child's immigration pre-approval to the US Embassy in Addis Ababa.  That news makes me very happy.  In fact, I hugged jc so much that he said, "that hurts" and made me stop!  :)

It's nice to relax a little after submitting the dossier and start reading some more serious adoption books.  We're told to anticipate a child under a year old, so I'm refining my focus a bit.  I read a pretty serious book on toddler adoption, focusing on attachment, and it's nice to know that I might not have some of those issues to worry about!

We've got plenty more hills to climb, but for now; let's enjoy that wonderful coast at the top of the first really big one.  Drink some Gatorade, eat a power bar, and soak in the sun and cooling breeze.

rc

Waiting

One of the hardest things about school papers used to always be the title.  I would turn in a perfectly respectable essay or short story or theme paper with no idea what to call it.  I know exactly what to call this, and I also know that it's part one in "Variations on a Theme".  The first few months of waiting had their challenges, but there was usually something concrete to do.  I exhausted the to-do list a while ago; now there's nothing but read travel guides and blogs and message boards.  All that pointless obsession doubtless leads to worry.

I woke up today, after 10 hours sleep, groggy and with a stiff neck. Crunchy granola raisin bran and a slice of cold pizza didn't help; but somewhere in the middle of loading the dishwasher so I could find enough counter space to make tea I started to wake up enough to think about what's bothering me.

Our agency has been moving incredibly fast after dossier submission.  I'm already busy trying to see if the Scholar's Wife and my Mother can go to Addis with me.  This dream of having a child could be a reality so soon.  Am I ready for it?

The biggest event in my life lately revolved around catching the train at 5:50am so I could ride my bike 104 miles in a day and trying not to get carsick on the bus trip home.  I'm signing up for 20 years of non-stop obligation based on the fluttering of some mothering instinct in my stomach.  Someone once told me that you're never ready for marriage.  You learn as you go along.  Maybe it's that way with children.  Sounds like a terribly irresponsible way to approach a major life-change, but maybe it's the way all of life goes.

Some people have praised me for riding a few centuries, and I brushed it off.  You just get on your bike and pedal, and even when you're tired and hurting, you just keep going until you reach the finish.  Last time I stopped and cried twice.  Then I got back on my bike and finished. 

Am I ready to be a parent?  Of course not.  I've got more long rides and hill training to do before it's even time to start.  But I know I'm willing to give what's required.  That's the start.

rc

Speed Bump

First of all, yesterday was sunny and warm and I took the new road bike, henceforth dubbed the Firefly due to its beauty and lightning speed up the West Hills.  My lungs weren't quite up the the task, but the bike was.  It's an amazing, stiff machine, and it disappears when you're riding.

Now on to the actual news.  I got a call from the social worker today with the news that my nurse practitioner letter isn't good enough.  Has to be signed by an MD.  I don't know why it took them so long to discover that, but there it is.  My FNP promised to have the doctor in the practice redo it if necessary, but it could include waiting a month to get in to see her, and it certainly means dealing with that horrible receptionist again. Icky.

Ever since I got that call this morning, I've been reminding myself to calm down and be patient.  I think it's working a little.

rc

Home Study- Part One

After my two night shifts this week, I woke up this afternoon to finish preparing for the home study visit. I finished the floors, did the laundry, and baked cookies. Old fashioned Pennsylvania Dutch molasses cookies for luck.


Then I put the cleats on the spd-sl road shoes for my new bike while we waited for the social worker to arrive. The social worker arrived with a fledgling trainee right on time. Both were kind and pleasant and admired our high-rise loft. I had neglected to mail the paper safety check, so they asked for that, and I filled it out. They asked if I'd been reading about adoption and made sure I understood the possibility for attachment issues and obstacles. I had and I did.

We made an appointment for my private interview at the office for Tuesday. No housecleaning needed for that one! We're very pleased with how smoothly the visit went and excited about progressing.

rc