I received my bequest from Granny's estate today. It was a much larger amount of money than I expected. The executor made a reasonable request: think about how Granny would have wanted you to spend it. I've never received a gift of this size before, and I'm a little overwhelmed by. I sort of wish Granny would have spent it on something extravagant instead of being so frugal. Thinking about how frugal she was makes me ponder a wise use for it even harder. Here's where I come to the recurring theme. Granny's bequest would comprise a tidy fraction of the amount necessary for an adoption. Thinking about adoption so concretely scares me to death. Maybe the reason I'm not a mother already is that I'm not suited for it or nature didn't intend it for me. I suppose I'd be thinking more rationally if this hadn't happened on the first day of my period, when I'm already bound to be more than a little of kilter. I'm going to wait a while.