Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Too Small?
Introducing: a handset for your cell phone. Because cell phones have gotten so small you get a hand cramp if you talk on one for any length of time. And everyone is on them all the time. That's technology, folks.
Odds and Ends
1. Begin Cycle 32
2. Crazy landlady- says we can stay through May now
3. Looking for a Christmas tree- easier than house hunting
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
What have I been Doing?
listings
drive-bys
showings
realtor
interest rates
downpayments
mortgages
compromise
rc
drive-bys
showings
realtor
interest rates
downpayments
mortgages
compromise
rc
Monday, November 27, 2006
Hill Towns- book review
Anne Rivers Siddons- Hill Towns
As soon as I began this book about a little girl who was afraid to leave the Mountain, even though it held such dark memories for her, I was enveloped in it. The story held sway over my mood and emotions. At times I raged at Cat for the choices she was making, but I never doubted that it is what she would do.
But more than that, I was with Cat as she faced a journey that was at once unbelievable and completely credible. Her journey took her so far outside her comfort zone that she could never possibly return and left her unalterably changed. It is a psychic journey that I can identify with, that I compare to the road that I am travelling.
The book didn't tell where Cat's journey ended any more than it told me where mine will end. It is fitting that it ends in uncertainty, as there really is no end.
RC
As soon as I began this book about a little girl who was afraid to leave the Mountain, even though it held such dark memories for her, I was enveloped in it. The story held sway over my mood and emotions. At times I raged at Cat for the choices she was making, but I never doubted that it is what she would do.
But more than that, I was with Cat as she faced a journey that was at once unbelievable and completely credible. Her journey took her so far outside her comfort zone that she could never possibly return and left her unalterably changed. It is a psychic journey that I can identify with, that I compare to the road that I am travelling.
The book didn't tell where Cat's journey ended any more than it told me where mine will end. It is fitting that it ends in uncertainty, as there really is no end.
RC
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Where to Live- dream journal
jc and I had moved cross country and were looking for a place to live. We finally found a small one room apartment in a shopping mall. It was right next to a fast food restaurant. I was going all around the mall on roller skates. It turned out there was some kind of convention there. After the convention, we left. Before we left, a lady showed me all the accomodations at the other end of the mall. There were cabins and camping spots and many people had stayed there. Next I was on the bus with two classmates from high school. For a change they were being nice to me. Suddenly they decided they needed the bus for something else and hijacked it. We went careening wildly around curves on a country road.
Sronnoc Esor
Sronnoc Esor
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Snoring
I'm of the opinion that you should claim responsibility for your actions, even if you can't control them. jc doesn't usually snore, but when he does and I say, "I can't sleep, you're snoring too loud.", he replies with offended tone, "I can't help it. Put your earplugs in." Well last night I was on call and had to be able to hear the phone, so I resorted to sleeping on the sofa. Snoring Beauty isn't even up yet and probably won't even realize I slept on the sofa to be properly remorseful. If I remind him of it, then I'm just a bitch. Why does his snoring always manage to make me look bad?
Well, this is quite a rant and I forgive you for skipping it. I feel better with that off my chest.
Rose
Well, this is quite a rant and I forgive you for skipping it. I feel better with that off my chest.
Rose
Friday, November 24, 2006
Response to Twisty from XBFRN
Author definitely has some daddy issues. I keep waiting for my silver spoon to arrive since I am after all a white male, but apparently the 1/8 of me that is Native American precludes me from dominance. I figured that the thanksgiving in the beginning was probably more of a robbery then a party, but who knows. I think that the author is right, but in her efforts to get back at the huge christian tradition has skewed things to the point of militant lesbian atheism (my term it will be in my book i believe).
The thing about america is that we are guilty. The Romans conquered the whole planet as far as they knew and never apologized, same with the Greeks, the Inca, the Aztecs, the Huns, the Ottoman-Turks, ad nauseum. Humans love to dominate each other, and civilization does the same; this is not limited to the whites.
In 100 years when another race, be it Hispanic or Chinese, takes over, will they say, "oh we conquered you here is a job and welfare, but we still think you're inferior, but this helps us feel better about it."? War is violent, as are humans in general.
Seeing my heritage, I hate the whites, the Huns, the Irish, the British, the Sioux, the Mexicans, the Canadians, the Romans, the Amish, the Lutherans, the Wasps, industry, and a few others; since at some point they have all done something to someone in my lineage that was morally inexcuseable. In an effort to consolidate my energies, I am declaring war on anyone who makes more then 4 million a year; they after all are above law and national borders. When was the last time Murdoch got a speeding ticket? The true powers lie in finance, not race; as long as we battle each other for the crumbs the guy holding the bread is safe. That's my soapbox today; dont forget to vote for me in 2016.
The thing about america is that we are guilty. The Romans conquered the whole planet as far as they knew and never apologized, same with the Greeks, the Inca, the Aztecs, the Huns, the Ottoman-Turks, ad nauseum. Humans love to dominate each other, and civilization does the same; this is not limited to the whites.
In 100 years when another race, be it Hispanic or Chinese, takes over, will they say, "oh we conquered you here is a job and welfare, but we still think you're inferior, but this helps us feel better about it."? War is violent, as are humans in general.
Seeing my heritage, I hate the whites, the Huns, the Irish, the British, the Sioux, the Mexicans, the Canadians, the Romans, the Amish, the Lutherans, the Wasps, industry, and a few others; since at some point they have all done something to someone in my lineage that was morally inexcuseable. In an effort to consolidate my energies, I am declaring war on anyone who makes more then 4 million a year; they after all are above law and national borders. When was the last time Murdoch got a speeding ticket? The true powers lie in finance, not race; as long as we battle each other for the crumbs the guy holding the bread is safe. That's my soapbox today; dont forget to vote for me in 2016.
Mission Impossible 3: movie review
link
There isn't much to say about this. It is incredibly long at 126 minutes, and I found it to be quite boring. I think I could have turned it off at any time with no problem. If you like special effects and firefights, maybe you would like it. There is an interesting plot twist where you're not sure who the bad guys are for a while. There is a nice human element involving Ethan Hunt's desire for a normal personal life. Oh, and the part where the girl they rescue dies because the defibillator takes 30 seconds to charge up. I had a hard time with that one when they have all the latest toys. To end my rambling, I'll just say, Tom Cruise is old news.
RC
There isn't much to say about this. It is incredibly long at 126 minutes, and I found it to be quite boring. I think I could have turned it off at any time with no problem. If you like special effects and firefights, maybe you would like it. There is an interesting plot twist where you're not sure who the bad guys are for a while. There is a nice human element involving Ethan Hunt's desire for a normal personal life. Oh, and the part where the girl they rescue dies because the defibillator takes 30 seconds to charge up. I had a hard time with that one when they have all the latest toys. To end my rambling, I'll just say, Tom Cruise is old news.
RC
Journeys-dream journal
Lately, my dreams have been troubled and I have awakened with the vague sense that I did everything wrong without remembering what really happened. Last night, they were pretty well back to normal.
I was walking on some back roads with Father and it started to get dark, so we were hurrying home. I told him that I had gotten a new job at the college as a counselor. He wanted to know if I had called the number he gave me. I told him, I tried a few times, but there was no answer. Then we got on a bus. Mr. Clean and Robin were there too. We were going to a parade in celebration of something. Robin and I fell behind and had to run to catch up. There was a whole line of animals in cages, and the guy running the thing had a miniature dachshund the size of a hot dog in a plastic trash can. It kept jumping out and running away.
I was walking up a dirt road to see someone. There was a stream running by the road and a little boy was playing in it. I broke his toy by accident. Then I watched from a distance before deciding to turn around and go back. I slid down some of the hills on my belly like an otter. There was a town meeting and the mother of some friends of Robin was there.
Sronnoc Esor
I was walking on some back roads with Father and it started to get dark, so we were hurrying home. I told him that I had gotten a new job at the college as a counselor. He wanted to know if I had called the number he gave me. I told him, I tried a few times, but there was no answer. Then we got on a bus. Mr. Clean and Robin were there too. We were going to a parade in celebration of something. Robin and I fell behind and had to run to catch up. There was a whole line of animals in cages, and the guy running the thing had a miniature dachshund the size of a hot dog in a plastic trash can. It kept jumping out and running away.
I was walking up a dirt road to see someone. There was a stream running by the road and a little boy was playing in it. I broke his toy by accident. Then I watched from a distance before deciding to turn around and go back. I slid down some of the hills on my belly like an otter. There was a town meeting and the mother of some friends of Robin was there.
Sronnoc Esor
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Hop on over and read this
While I fully intend to satiate myself with Thanksgiving turkey and I even made a list of things I'm thankful for, I usually get a big kick out of Twisty's essays and this one is no exception.
http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/
Here's an excerpt to whet your interest:
http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/
Here's an excerpt to whet your interest:
RoseHorribly, Thanksgiving’s repellent foodly intemperance is nearly always
presented at some weird, un-dinner-like hour of the afternoon, then it’s back to
the TV for the patriarchs, and back to the scullery for the womenfolk, where
they scour off the carbonized substrate of the sugary sweet potato-marshmallow
pie, wrap in foil the remains of the enhormoned, tortured Butterball, tuck into
Tupperware the green been casserole made with Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom Soup
and French’s Fried Onions, and chuck out the untouched can-shaped cylinder of
Ocean Spray “cranberry sauce” that nobody understands, eats, or can live
without. Afterward, everybody either falls comatose or writhes, suffering
varying degrees of physical and emotional distress, on such seating — usually a
small needlepoint footstool or one of the dining room chairs — as has not been
previously commandeered by the football-watching males.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Evicted
As we sat eating our nice, civilized dinner and sipping wine Sunday, the landlady came on the answering machine to tell us that we need to get out because she's sold the place. That's a provision of the lease. No date set in stone yet, we have 2-3 months.
This got me thinking that landlords around here are really awful and we should buy a house. So today, I talked to the loan officer, talked to the real estate agent, and looked through listings some more.
On the hunt for somewhere to live again.
RC
This got me thinking that landlords around here are really awful and we should buy a house. So today, I talked to the loan officer, talked to the real estate agent, and looked through listings some more.
On the hunt for somewhere to live again.
RC
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Signing- dream journal
The only thing I remember from last night is signing my name with my maiden name which always felt awkward and stilted for me and I had to repeat for people. Two nights ago I dreamed that we visited Granny the day of my dinner party and she served the menu I had planned. My dreams have been unusually wrapped up in worry, and thus I haven't even tried to remember them.
Sronnoc Esor
Sronnoc Esor
Speaking but still Thoughtful
Suppose a man receives a letter from his father in law containing these (among many other) words:
Is the man's wife wrong to believe that her father sees her as nothing but voiceless, thoughtless, choiceless Property? An investment. Is she wrong to wonder if any supposed relationship with her father has been a meaningless charade?
The letter goes on to encourage the man to be a spiritual leader in the household and make sure his wife goes to church and reads the Bible.
So the man's wife is reduced to a caged animal who cannot decide when to have sex, what to read, or where to go.
The man's wife is very upset with the man's father in law.
RC
After I had invested twenty-some years of my life in her, thousands of
prayers, and thousands and thousands of dollars, I did not want some man thinking
that she was a cheap sexual object to take advantage of.
Is the man's wife wrong to believe that her father sees her as nothing but voiceless, thoughtless, choiceless Property? An investment. Is she wrong to wonder if any supposed relationship with her father has been a meaningless charade?
The letter goes on to encourage the man to be a spiritual leader in the household and make sure his wife goes to church and reads the Bible.
So the man's wife is reduced to a caged animal who cannot decide when to have sex, what to read, or where to go.
The man's wife is very upset with the man's father in law.
RC
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Enforced Thoughtfulness
I've lost my voice. It's been more or less gone for almost two days now. At work, the first night it was gone, a coworker commented that it made hime think about the value of saying less. Another coworker missed my chattiness. It makes me feel a little like a different person, miming and writing, and saving that for important communication. But here on my blog, I'm the same with or without my voice.
I'm busy cooking up a storm for company tonight. Sometimes I like spending the day in the kitchen.
RC
I'm busy cooking up a storm for company tonight. Sometimes I like spending the day in the kitchen.
RC
Friday, November 17, 2006
Plumbing
The first time I took a shower in the new house I couldn't help but notice that the shower hits me somewhere in the region of the neck. I have a decided aversion to water in my face and you have to be a contortionist to get the spray to hit the top of your head. So I got a handheld sprayer. The supporting apparatus gives it eight inches or so, making it just fine. The only problem is, the new shower head uses more water and now there's four or five inches of water accumulated in the tub by the time you finish showering. So I dumped the drain cleaner down the thing with no result and let my landlady know that it wasn't draining well.
When the plumbers showed up this morning, it turned out the trap was too short to snake it and the sink drains into the tub drain, or something like that. They had to cut the pipe to fix it, the tub is a mess, the landlady is frantic because she's showing the house tonight. Oh, and "you're using fiberglass cleaner on that, right?"
RC
When the plumbers showed up this morning, it turned out the trap was too short to snake it and the sink drains into the tub drain, or something like that. They had to cut the pipe to fix it, the tub is a mess, the landlady is frantic because she's showing the house tonight. Oh, and "you're using fiberglass cleaner on that, right?"
RC
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Putative- word of the day
putative \PYOO-tuh-tiv\, adjective:
Commonly thought or deemed; supposed; reputed.
Putative comes from Late Latin putativus, from Latin putare, "to cleanse, to prune, to clear up, to consider, to reckon, to think." It is related to compute, "to calculate" (from com-, intensive prefix + putare); dispute, "to contend in argument" (from dis-, "apart" + putare); and reputation, "the estimation in which one is held" (from reputatio, from the past participle of reputare, "to think over," from re-, "again" + putare).
Commonly thought or deemed; supposed; reputed.
Certainly, to have even a putative ancestor commemorated
by Shakespeare is something about which to boast.-- Frances Spalding, Duncan
Grant: A Biography
A report has found that the putative evidence for the
paper that started the controversy was fabricated.-- Margot O'Toole, "The
Whistle-Blower and the Train Wreck", New York
Times, April 12, 1991
Putative comes from Late Latin putativus, from Latin putare, "to cleanse, to prune, to clear up, to consider, to reckon, to think." It is related to compute, "to calculate" (from com-, intensive prefix + putare); dispute, "to contend in argument" (from dis-, "apart" + putare); and reputation, "the estimation in which one is held" (from reputatio, from the past participle of reputare, "to think over," from re-, "again" + putare).
another meme from ScienceWoman
1. Yourself: nurse
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend: jc
3. Your hair: red
4. Your mother: caring
5. Your father: controlling
6. Your favorite item: my piano
7. Your dream last night: ?
8. Your favorite drink: chocolate milk
9. Your dream car: 4WD station wagon
10. The room you are in: filtered natural light
11. Your ex: my friend
12. Your fear: infertility
13. What you want to be in 10 years: a mother
14. Who you hung out with last night: jc
15. What you're not: energetic
16. Muffins: chocolate chocolate chip
17: One of your wish list items: kitchen island
18: Time: 10:17
19. The last thing you did: woke up
20. What you are wearing: nightgown
21. Your favorite weather: warm autumn days
22. Your favorite book: the dictionary?
23. The last thing you ate: swedish meatballs
24. Your life: happy
25. Your mood: hopeful
26. Your best friend (s): jc
27. What are you thinking about right now: food
28. Your car: Infiniti M45
29. What are you doing at the moment: obviously...
30. Your summer: relaxing
31. Your relationship status: contented
32. What is on your tv: cat toys
33. What is the weather like: windy
34. When is the last time you laughed: yesterday
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend: jc
3. Your hair: red
4. Your mother: caring
5. Your father: controlling
6. Your favorite item: my piano
7. Your dream last night: ?
8. Your favorite drink: chocolate milk
9. Your dream car: 4WD station wagon
10. The room you are in: filtered natural light
11. Your ex: my friend
12. Your fear: infertility
13. What you want to be in 10 years: a mother
14. Who you hung out with last night: jc
15. What you're not: energetic
16. Muffins: chocolate chocolate chip
17: One of your wish list items: kitchen island
18: Time: 10:17
19. The last thing you did: woke up
20. What you are wearing: nightgown
21. Your favorite weather: warm autumn days
22. Your favorite book: the dictionary?
23. The last thing you ate: swedish meatballs
24. Your life: happy
25. Your mood: hopeful
26. Your best friend (s): jc
27. What are you thinking about right now: food
28. Your car: Infiniti M45
29. What are you doing at the moment: obviously...
30. Your summer: relaxing
31. Your relationship status: contented
32. What is on your tv: cat toys
33. What is the weather like: windy
34. When is the last time you laughed: yesterday
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
re: RE
This morning I don't think I'll do it at all. Maybe my FNP can run the basic tests for lupus anticoagulant. I don't think I'm emotionally capable of going on that whole infertility ride. Dahlia Man always says, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." It seems that it is the thought of changing the status quo that makes me unhappy. If so, then I'll just keep it the same.
RC
RC
Bees- dream journal
I was visiting BJU. Someone dropped me off at the curb with all my stuff. My old roommates drove by and stopped to pick me up. Instead of taking me to the dorm though, they just kept driving around in circles. I jumped out and went into the Amphitorium since it was time for chapel. I sat in a pretty empty section of the balcony near Mark Ort, the guy my good friend married. I had to turn sideways to fit down the aisle. I said, "I guess I've put on some weight since college." Halfway through the service, most of the students got up and ran out the exit doors in a panic. Dr. Bob was yelling at them to stop. I was looking around to see what was wrong, but I couldn't see anything. Then one girl stopped running down the aisle to swat at a huge bee. After that I noticed bees all around me, but they weren't hurting me. I saw some guy who was releasing bees and taunting me to run away.
Sronnoc Esor
Sronnoc Esor
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Looking for Help
I like to have all the answers.
I like to know ahead of time what the options are.
I like to be in control.
I dislike doctors.
I've spent most of yesterday and today trying to find a doctor to help us get pregnant. Trouble is, I don't even know who I should see first. The American College of OB/GYN only lists four reproductive endocrinolgists (REs) in the state of Oregon. But then, when I visit their websites, they all talk about IVF as the first treatment option.
I don't want IVF.
Or at least I don't think I do.
Should I just be going to a plain old OB/GYN to start out with? What are they going to want to do?
jc had good sperm counts when they were tested ten years ago. I don't think he wants to do it again. Does he need to? What are the factors that would make it different?
I didn't have endometriosis when I had my exploratory laparoscopy ~five years ago. When the doctor hears that I still have chronic pelvic pain, are they going to want to do another one? I don't want one.
What is this going to cost? (addendum: I just read that basic testing runs $4,000- $11,000; my insurance doesn't cover a dime.)
What is the chance of finding a treatment that A) I'll agree to and B)will work?
I was doing pretty well emotionally with the idea of continuing to try on our own for a while and adopting if it didn't work. Now, I am seduced by the idea that if there is an easy fix, it would be stupid not to find out about it. This is more of an emotional struggle.
They're almost certainly going to want me to start doing basal body temperature charting (BBTs) again. I hate temping, but I'll probably start next cycle so I have some stats to show the doc when I see him.
I guess I need to call my FNP and ask her for a referral.
This is too concrete. I want to cry. I want to curl up in a ball and hide from the world. I want to drink myself into oblivion, smoke a pack of cigarettes; heck, get really high, until I forget all about TTC.
My life is way too good to drag myself down by thinking about this too much. I love my jc. I love the kitties. I love my work. I love this Oregon and the delightful bay where we live.
Why must I want this one thing that I can't have? I wish I could just turn it off and forget about it. I don't want the label fertile or infertile or sub-fertile or anything else they're going to call me. I'm afraid this quest is only going to land me with the label crazy.
rc
I like to know ahead of time what the options are.
I like to be in control.
I dislike doctors.
I've spent most of yesterday and today trying to find a doctor to help us get pregnant. Trouble is, I don't even know who I should see first. The American College of OB/GYN only lists four reproductive endocrinolgists (REs) in the state of Oregon. But then, when I visit their websites, they all talk about IVF as the first treatment option.
I don't want IVF.
Or at least I don't think I do.
Should I just be going to a plain old OB/GYN to start out with? What are they going to want to do?
jc had good sperm counts when they were tested ten years ago. I don't think he wants to do it again. Does he need to? What are the factors that would make it different?
I didn't have endometriosis when I had my exploratory laparoscopy ~five years ago. When the doctor hears that I still have chronic pelvic pain, are they going to want to do another one? I don't want one.
What is this going to cost? (addendum: I just read that basic testing runs $4,000- $11,000; my insurance doesn't cover a dime.)
What is the chance of finding a treatment that A) I'll agree to and B)will work?
I was doing pretty well emotionally with the idea of continuing to try on our own for a while and adopting if it didn't work. Now, I am seduced by the idea that if there is an easy fix, it would be stupid not to find out about it. This is more of an emotional struggle.
They're almost certainly going to want me to start doing basal body temperature charting (BBTs) again. I hate temping, but I'll probably start next cycle so I have some stats to show the doc when I see him.
I guess I need to call my FNP and ask her for a referral.
This is too concrete. I want to cry. I want to curl up in a ball and hide from the world. I want to drink myself into oblivion, smoke a pack of cigarettes; heck, get really high, until I forget all about TTC.
My life is way too good to drag myself down by thinking about this too much. I love my jc. I love the kitties. I love my work. I love this Oregon and the delightful bay where we live.
Why must I want this one thing that I can't have? I wish I could just turn it off and forget about it. I don't want the label fertile or infertile or sub-fertile or anything else they're going to call me. I'm afraid this quest is only going to land me with the label crazy.
rc
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