I had my hearing in traffic court today. The officer showed up in a Hawaiian shirt. He read the date of the infraction wrong, but when I pointed it out, he denied his mistake. Despite my excellent moving-radar-doesn't-work/roads-weren't-icy-at-all defense, delivered through my sweaty, shaky, palpitational anxiety; the judge agreed with the cop.
The good news is, he offered me online traffic school to keep the citation off my record. So the ticket is paid, I'll do the driving school, and it will all be over. As a native pointed out to me, don't expect to get a ticket overturned in a poor town like this. Cops are just fundraisers.
Now I'm ready to have a drink and watch DVD's all night.