adoption reading

I just finished Melissa Fay Greene's excellent book "No Biking in the House Without a Helmet". An American Jewish woman writes about augmenting her family of four biological children with international adoptees- a Romani Bulgarian boy and four Ethiopian kids. The adventures that ensue are heart-wrenching, hilarious at times, and unforgettable. Her observations about being a multiracial family are interesting and useful, and she gives proper weight to the subject of teaching her Ethiopian children about their heritage.

The most unforgettable passage in the book is one that describes a meal of "injera" and "wat" - spicy traditional food with her four Ethiopian kids. The kids stuff themselves on food so spicy that she can't even bear to taste it. Full of energy afterwards, they race around the parking lot. But the real hilarity comes when they get in the car to go home and start a burping and farting contest. Her account made me laugh out loud until tears ran down my face.

rc

Insomnia

So, I biked home from my 12-hr night shift at the hospital and fell in bed, exhausted, about 9am. I dreamed non-stop that I did all the adoption paperwork wrong. Then I dreamed that my husband was this short, stocky, mustachioed man in a red plaid flannel shirt. I couldn't go back to sleep.

So I got up before noon. Roughly 2 hours of sleep. My thesis is that a dossier is a dry run for motherhood. A surrogate pregnancy if you will. I figure I might as well get used to it.

Tentative date for our first home study visit is March 20. And today I started investigating diaper options by reading about awesome local Portland company gDiapers with their orange and green pants. 100% biodegradeable!

rc

I Mailed a Fat Envelope Today

We finished the first, easiest step of our paperwork today. I spent the past three days, ignoring a head cold and body malaise, getting things ready. That includes a basic contract, fingerprints, and the applications for criminal clearance from Oregon. First-class postage for the envelope was just under $3, so that's a pretty fat envelope.

The numbers from here:
2-3 months to complete home study
indefinite period to get US and Ethiopian approval of dossier
up to 5 months until referral (that's when they officially identify a specific child for us)
2 months until travel to Ethiopia for court
6-8 weeks for US embassy approval before travel to come back with baby

That adds up to roughly a year. That's if all the official agencies operate according to predicted timetable, which is never a given; and if we don't need to resubmit anything; and nothing else goes wrong. I'd be uncomfortable with anything under 9 months- that would be a preemie, and everyone knows that isn't good. But every piece of paperwork I mail in is one less thing for me to lie awake thinking about.

For now, I'm going to take a rest for a few days. I think I'd like some nachos with cheese and refried beans.

rc

Pyramid Foundations

International adoption is a somewhat complicated process. R@du describes it as a pyramid with three parallel sections at the base, all of which must be completed before progressing.

As soon as I mailed the application, I began work on the base of the pyramid. I emailed our kind friends who have agreed to provide references. I answered the questions on the autobiography, describing my home life growing up and how we envision the future of the new family we're creating.

I bought a box of 100 yellow manila mailing envelopes and labelled them for blank forms, completed forms, and instructions. I'm sure there will be plenty more envelopes with different labels to come. The emptier that box of envelopes get, the closer our baby is to being in our arms.

I got into cycling in the last few years. I have a beautiful carbon race bike that's just weeks from being ready to ride. I'm not even that excited about the bike anymore, and it really is a very exciting bike. Now I'm thinking about an Extracycle...

Rose

Meeting R@du

R@du answered all our questions and somehow managed to ease my anxiety. By the time we got home I was almost jumping up and down with excitement. I'm mailing him the application tonight.

We are so excited about working with an agency that genuinely loves finding homes for orphaned children, and also funnels as much money as they can back into orphanages and foster homes in Ethiopia.

I'm ready to get the fingerprints done, the medical form signed, the background checks done, and the home study underway. Before you know it, I'll be buying a baby bed! (This is where you insert a high-pitched squeal!!)

rc

adoption- the beginning

On Thursday, we decided to start the process to adopt a baby. I made a spreadsheet of country requirements, crossreferenced it with local agencies, and made some phone calls.

On Friday, I made an appointment with R@du to discuss Ethiopian adoption.

In a minute, I'm leaving for that appointment. I've waited close to 10 years for this; I tell myself it should be easy to wait 1-2 more, while the process happens. But I'm already anxious, and so is jc.

Anxious, a bit incredulous, and also thrilled beyond belief.

rc