the sun'll come out tomorrow- never doubt it

After two days of mild to moderate agony and apathy, I am out of the pit (and hopefully far enough away that I'm not going to fall in again anytime soon.) In case you didn't figure it out, the moaning was the usual, predictable malady, pronounced by increased odds from the absence of agony last month. Finally, this evening, I got out of bed, prepared my signature comfort meal of grilled cheese sandwich fingers dipped in tomato soup, and popped Northern Exposure in the DVD player. I followed that with fresh peaches and strawberry jell-o; and even did a long yoga workout, trying out some new poses to work into the class. After groaning and demanding to be waited on all weekend, it is remarkably refreshing to want to do things for myself. I'll not torture you further with my failings (until next time I'm feeling poorly.)

Rose

my personality score

My Personality

Neuroticism	34
Extraversion	16
Openness To Experience	79
Agreeableness	65
Conscientiousness	45

Test Yourself Compare Yourself View Full Report MySpace Surveys, Bebo and MySpace Layouts by Pulseware Survey Software

ambush

I was knocked to me knees from behind by a solid blow to the mid-section. As I lay curled helplessly on the ground, a kick in the kidneys sent me tumbling into a steep-walled, dark pit with a tiny ring of light at the top. I foggily assessed the damage; I felt as if every bone had been broken. Fairy sprites in the form of kittens licked my wounds and gave me their own warmth to soothe my ailing body. The spell they wove around me made me sleep and gave me sweet surcease from pain.

When I awoke, gradually and cautiously, the sprites still in attendance, I attempted to scale the sides of that vile abyss to freedom. I was making progress, the circle of light was growing, when suddenly a pike darted down from above and returned me to the bottom, in worse condition than before.

Now I allow the fairy sprites their ministrations and idly contemplate the possibilities. Although it is dark, I am getting used to it. The kittens make it tolerable and even pleasant at times. I will stay a while and gather my strength. When I am well enough, the ambushers-in-the-dark will skulk away without showing their faces out of fear for me.

Rose

face in the sun- an abstract expression

down the road- dream journal

To get to the place I had to park at the farmhouse and walk through it. I then went down a dusty road and over a bridge. I don' know what it was or what I was doing there. It was something like a large truck farm. When I went to cross the bridge the other way to leave, some of the men who worked there started reaching out to touch me. It scared me. A few men put me on some kind of wagon or gurney and pushed me down the road, through a mob of men. The crowd parted in front of us, and soon I was back safely at the farmhouse.

As I walked down the hall and into the kitchen on the way back to my car, a woman spoke to me. She was arranging flowers. I apologized for being in her home and explained the reason. She told me it was okay and struck up a conversation with me. We talked about the remodeling she had done to the building. The walls used to be painted bright rainbow colors and she had replaced it all with a warm brown. I told her I always thought it would have looked nice if the natural brick and log structure had just been shellaced.

I began to notice multiple slides and stairs leading to the basement. Men dressed in work uniforms with helmets were coming and going. I understood that they kept the furnace burning that heated the place. I got in a conversation with one of them when the lady went outside to get more flowers. She was arranging a dinner party. Banquet tables were set up in several different rooms, but she said the party wasn't to be for a few months yet. She then invited me to come live in number eleven. I used to know someone who lived in number eleven and remembered it being nice.

Sronnoc Esor

Vade mecum- word of the day

vade mecum \vay-dee-MEE-kuhm; vah-dee-MAY-\, noun:

1. A book for ready reference; a manual; a handbook.
2. A useful thing that one regularly carries about.

The reader who wants honestly to understand it, and not merely read
into it his own ideas, needs some kind of vade mecum to provide
the necessary background and explain unfamiliar words and allusions and strange
turns of thought.-- Robert C. Dentan, "Including Uz and Buz", New York Times, November 17, 1968

Roget's Thesaurus, which had come into being as a linguistic example of the
Platonic ideal, became instead a vade mecum for the crossword
cheat.-- Simon Winchester, "Word Imperfect", The Atlantic, May 2001

Vade mecum is from Latin, literally meaning "go with
me."

Question for my readers:

What is your vade mecum?

Mine? depends on the day:

Taber's medical encyclopedia or Focus Guide to North American Birds

Rose

teaching- dream journal

I was preparing to teach fourth through sixth grades in the upcoming school year. I had my room and most of my teaching materials and lesson plans ready when my brother Mr. Clean told me that he wanted to teach those grades and asked if I could teach high school instead. I agreed. Then there was the first day of school where I did a live demonstration of a blood transfusion on the phlebotomist from the lab. I ran it in a bit fast: about 30 minutes instead of four hours. The scene sort of morphed into the hospital where I couldn't find any of the supplies I needed, someone was going without TPN for most of the shift because I couldn't find an IV pump.

Sronnoc Esor

Hamlet- movie review

link

the complete play

This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night
the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.

There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.

It's hard to follow the genius of the master playwright himself with a fair review. I've chosen a few favorite quotes above, but the best review would be to follow the link and read the play yourself. Full of food for thought enough to chew over for a great while.

What is madness? What causes it? Who determines who the sane ones are? Are we all crazy, and perceive those few sane ones to be mad?

Is it crazy, like Hamlet, to see the spirits of those dead? Is it crazy to grieve like Ophelia and take your own life? Is it crazy to murder your brother for his crown and his wife? Is it crazy to seek revenge for a loved one's death? Is there an cure for madness?

“Madness is to think of too many things in succession too fast, or of one thing too exclusively”
Voltaire

“'But I don’t want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.'Oh, you can’t help that,' said the Cat. 'We’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.''How do you know I’m mad?' said Alice.'You must be,” said the Cat. 'or you wouldn’t have come here.'”
Lewis Carroll

“It is only too true that a lot of artists are mentally ill- it's a life which, to put it mildly, makes one an outsider. I'm all right when I completely immerse myself in work, but I'll always remain half crazy.”
Vincent van Gogh

“There is no genius free from some tincture of madness”
Seneca

“Idiosyncratic belief systems which are shared by only a few adherents are likely to be regarded as delusional. Belief systems which may be just as irrational but which are shared by millions are called world religions.i.e. When a man suffers from delusions he is described as mad but when a million do so they belong to a world religion.”
Anthony Storr


See if thinking about it doesn't drive you crazy.

R. Connors

Shadow makes her own toys

(After much frustration, trying to post this for two days, I finally realized that I wasn't using a jpeg.)

Shadow loves to go get her rubber band and hook it on a stationary object, often the piano pedals, and play the banjo with it. I had the good fortune to catch her in the act.

Rose

Pervicacious- word of the day

pervicacious \puhr-vih-KAY-shuhs\, adjective:Refusing to change one's ideas, behavior, etc.; stubborn; obstinate.

In fact, I'm a word nerd. I get a kick out of tossing a few odd ones intomy
column, just to see if the pervicacious editors will weed them out.-- Michael
Hawley, "Things That Matter: Waiting for Linguistic Viagra", Technology Review, June, 2001

One of the most pervicacious young creatures that ever was heard of.-- Samuel
Richardson, Clarissa

The language of the bureaucrats and administrators must needs be recognized as
an outgrowth of legal parlance. There is no other way to explain itspervading,
pervicacious and pernicious meanderings.-- New
York Law Journal, May 27, 1909

Pervicacious is from Latin pervicax, pervicac-, "stubborn, headstrong," from root pervic- of pervincere, "to carry ones point, maintain ones opinion," from per-, "through, thoroughly" + vincere, "to conquer, prevail against" + the suffix -ious, "characterized by, full of."

bumper cars- dream journal

I was on some kind of trip. I was staying in a co-ed dorm sort of like an old cabin at summer camp. When I woke up to go to the bathroom, I had quite a little walk. The kitties had to stay in some kind of little kennel. I left my striped zoo blanket with them. I drove the car down to check on them and couldn't find the brake. I went careening into the lawn and was about to hit a palm tree when I finally bent down and pushed the brake with my hand. After that I put the car in first gear and drove around very slowly. The kitties didn't want to stay in the kennel and Robin was helping me with them.

Then I found out that you can get genetic modules for people for physical features or personality traits. I guess there's a zip up panel in the back where you change them out.

Sronnoc Esor

yoga class

I had just j. and one other person at the yoga class. j. says it needs to be longer, but was otherwise good.

Rose

A Song of Peace

This song is in one of my piano books. I came upon it and played it today. As always, the words and the music carry much meaning for me. It used to be played on the school bus when I was in grade school.

Our conservative mindset was outraged by the idea that God is merely watching from afar, doing nothing. Today, I ask, what does it really mean? Is it a theological statement that God set the universe in motion and watches to see what happens? Is is meant to be a comfort that at least God is there?

More to the point is the content of the verses. If only I could go to that place where there is nothing but the peace and calm of nature and stay there. If only every one did have enough. If only no one were fighting. If only harmony and hope and peace and love enveloped us all.

I am reminded to promote harmony and hope and peace and love in the circle that I can reach. I am encouraged to find the good in myself and others and to exude positive energy to those around me.

From a Distance
words and music by Julie Gold, 1986

From a distance the world looks blue and green, and the snow capped
mountains white.
From a distance the ocean meets the stream, and the eagle takes to
flight.
From a distance there is harmony, and it echoes through the land.
It's the voice of hope, it's the voice of peace, it's the voice of every
man.

From a distance we all have enough, and no one is in need.
There are no guns, no bombs, no diseases, no hungry mouths to feed.
From a distance we are instruments, marching in a common band.
Playing songs of hope, playing songs of peace, they're the songs of every
man.

God is watching us,
God is watching us,
God is watching us from a distance.

From a distance you look like my friend, even though we are at war.
From a distance I can't comprehend what all this war is for.
From a distance there is harmony, and it echoes through the land.
It's the hope of hopes, it's the love of loves, it's the heart of every
man.
It's the hope of hopes, it's the love of loves, it's the song of every
man.

Namaste,

Rose

odds and ends

I can't remember the story line, but Brownie was in my dreams again last night. As usual he was hyper-friendly and completely platonic.

Mother and Father left for Oregon today. They will be taking two weeks or so to drive from Pennsylvania to Oregon in their big Chevy Express van. They intend to take in all the sights and increase their bird lists. Wave if you see them. They'll be on a back road, propably driving in circles. Kindly point west.

House cleaning is beginning in earnest in preparation. Yesterday was floor mopping. I'll probably even dust before they arrive.

I got my deck of yoga poses in the mail today. The mailman made a great production out of stuffing that, along with two Netflix movies, and a lot of junk catalogs in the mailbox. It was a bit of a struggle getting it all out.

I've spread out the cards on the floor in the order I plan to teach it. I've run throught the sequence in fast forward twice on my own and once with j. so far. Before class, I plan to do a final practice in real time. I'll let you know how that goes when I get back. I'm starting to hope that no one shows.

Kudos to my neice, A.E., who is about 14 months now, on peeing on the potty. Big girl!

Robin, here's hoping nursing school is going well. I miss talking to you, but I know you're busy.

Big M, welcome to Blogland.

Rose

continuation of the in-laws saga

(for part one, see archive from July 19)

A while after Obbie's death, her two sisters started coming around. They would ride around town with Joe in his convertibe, all three in the front seat with the top down. The one we'll call Gimlet started going to Florida with Joe every summer. She was the youngest one, and had always been homely. She was never married. She spent her life cooking for her brothers and caring for her sister, who eventually died of hepatitis that she got on a cruise. She had worked for the state and retired with some money put away. Joe was bad with money. All his property was mortgaged at least twice. The local banks, where his name used to be like gold, turned him away. So he started borrowing Gimlet's life savings. He spent it all in very little time. People started asking Joe and Gimlet when they were getting married. Gimlet had been waiting for this all her life. Joe was pressured into a marriage he didn't particularly want for the second time in his life.

j. reluctantly made the trip to his father's second wedding, hoping to talk him out of a second marriage at his age. Joe was closeted away, refusing to talk to anyone. Turns out he was not only reclusive, but ill. He went through with it, though. How could he not marry her after he spent all her money? Gimlet moved into the family house on Ocean Avenue and she's never left. She has been systematically giving away or throwing away Obbie's things.

I forget how long Joe and Gimlet were married. Joe had a swallowing problem that was giving him increasing trouble. His daughter Patience made an appointment for him to see a specialist. Gimlet couldn't wait for the appointment though. She made her own appointment for Joe with a lesser local doctor. Joe went in for an outpatient procedure on his esophagus. When he came home that night, he complained of pain. Gimlet told him not to be such a baby. She started giving him antacids, disregarding the doctor's instruction to take such an event seriously. Finally, Joe returned to the hospital. His esophagus hadn't stopped bleeding. He bled out on the operating table, full of liters and liters of fluid that made him unnaturally bloated in his coffin.

In his will Joe had made Gimlet trustee of all that he had, given her the house outright, and cut out j. completely. She is mismanaging it to this very day.

R.C.

scan- dream journal

I waited anxiously for the man to return and tell me the results of the scan. Had the egg been fertilized? Had it stuck? Finally, I sought him out in the upstairs attic room.

"Did it work?" I asked.

He replied confidently, "Of course."

j. and I hugged and kissed and cried a little. I shouted out to a woman passing through the room that I was pregnant.

Sronnoc Esor

Are all auto mechanics male shovenists?

It was past time to take the car in for an oil change. Since we traveled to Urban Center today, we decided to have the Wal-Mart lube guy do it.

This sparked my memory of the last time we did that. j. went into the store while I handled the work order. We were supposed to be paged in store when it was done, but after an hour or so without hearing anything, I headed back to the desk to inquire. The man informed me that they hadn't started yet because they wanted to tell me that there was no oil in the car when they started. I signed the form and told them to hop to it. Near another hour must have passed when we checked again and they were almost finished. Mr. Mechanic informed me that the tires were dangerously bald, and I should have them changed as well. j. showed up at this juncture and told Mr. Mechanic that we didn't want new tires.

Now our car is leased, low miles, and less than two years old. It has very sophisticated warning systems that would certainly go off in the absence of oil. Not only that, but I can change the oil quite capably myself, I just prefer not to.

So today, I asked j. to take care of the details while I shopped. Don't you know, everything was fine? Those same old tires that we had before grew new tread apparently, cause they aren't even bald anymore.

It sort of riles me up that I can't do something simple like get the oil changed without being preyed upon by opportunists who see women as easy targets. I suppose that guy hits his wife, if he managed to get one somehow.

R.C.

Random Quotes Meme

Link to the random quotes website and browse until you find five quotes that represent your thinking.

I pack my trunk, embrace my friends, embark on the sea, and at last wake up in Naples, and there beside me is the Stern Fact, the Sad Self, unrelenting, identical, that I fled from.
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.
Epictetus (55AD-135AD)

Seize the moment of excited curiosity on any subject to solve your doubts: for if you let it pass, the desire may never return, and you may remain in ignorance.
William Wirt (1772-1834)

Person to person, moment to moment, as we love, we change the world.
Samahria Lyte Kaufman

The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.
George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

Rose

Sleepy Hollow- movie review

link
Derived from the story by the same name by Washington Irving.

The use of color and lack thereof in this film is breathtakingly effective.
The most vibrant colors are in dream sequences. However, when the evil is defeated at the end, the color becomes normal.

“This is the only book I recommend you read.”- Rev. Steenwyck, referring to the Bible.
A book containing compilations of spells is given to Crane by Katrina van Tassel. The book protects him from being killed by a musket ball.

The question I kept asking throughout the movie was: Will science or superstition contain the solution to the murders? The delightful answer: both.

“Villainy wears many masks, none so dangerous as the mask of virtue.”

A clever retelling of an old story. I could have been happy without some of the gory special effects, but they were generally well done, with exceptions.

What is the true answer to what caused all this evil?

Selfishness and Greed.

Whether you believe in witchcraft and supernatural events or not, you have to believe in that. And that makes the story pertinent.

R. Connors

what's happening to the farm? dream journal

There was something about being hungry at work. I had noodles in my locker, but I had to clean out the container before I mad them, because I had left something in it before. People were passing around a sign up sheet to study for something. I can't remember what.

I was in the back field at Granny's farm, just taking a walk. I found something that didn't belong there. Then I ran into some friends, I don't remember who. We noticed the condos on the property. Some were new and were being rented out by tourists. Others wre in a terrible state of disrepair. I decided that I wanted to explore the ruins. We tried a few doors that were locked before coming to one that hung ajar. We cautiously entered, only to find that it was full of feral cats that looked dirty and dangerous. We backed out and found another one that was open. I can't remember what was in there.

(This was surreal. There was a binder shed at Granny's that I loved to explore. It had cool old stuff in it. In the general area, farms are being sold to developers, but Granny's property is still intact.)

Sronnoc Esor